16 hours....broke another string...its hard to explain what a capo is used for when you dont have a guitar to demonstrate with....even moreb difficult when youre trying to explain it to inquisitive energetic 5 year olds(twins). they are very cool 5 year olds. my "god brothers." i guess thats what theyre called. my parents are their god parents so i guess that makes me their god brother. oh well. theyre cool......16 hours....she'll be back

broke another D and G string....no more spares....no moreb guitar until tonight when i get more strings. and my fingers are hurting. i guess iveb been playing "too much." oh well ill just play some more...tomorrow :)

man oh man today was sooo great!!! :) i got up around 12 and went to andrews and chilled wiht him and kelly and played guitar. then later around 5 jesse called and told meb that erin told him to tell me to get online cos she was in an internet cafe in barcelona. so i got to talk to her and hear a little about her trip to paris and spain. it was soo great to talk to her. i miss her so much. and shell be back in like a day :) so then after that was done i chilled with andrew and kelly some more and then went to band practice with time out of line. it kicked ass. we played really well and it was fun as shit. good times. then i came home. oh and last night i saw dashboard on unplugged. which was weird cos hes unplugged anyway. but it was awesome. i cried during two songs. it was so good. thank you jeff :) i learned hands down. i know way too many dashboard songs. **screaming infidelities:::best deceptions:::saints and sailors:::again i go unnoticed:::the places you have come to fear theb most:::this bitter pill:::age six racer:::ender will save us all:::a plain morning:::hands down:::for you to notice:::shirts and gloves** i need to learn more...haha oh well...im super happy:)

too much guitar to relieve my pains....this is theb 2nd time in 5 days iveb broken my 'g' string. im running out of spares. in fact i think i just used my last one. i guess ill just haave to spend the outrageous 5 bucks for a new set. i just need to go to atomic. i need new hi hats too. and a doubleb kick. so much money is needed. but guitar has been my 'replacement' for erin. well not really cos i named my guitar erin about 5 months ago cos im a dork. but i cant spend all my time wiht erin so i just spend all my time playing guitar. it rocks. so much good music comes out of that sound hole. but today. today was fun. lots of guitar as usual. but theeen. oh man i saw joan jett in DC today. goddamn it was a fuckin awesoem show. i was blown away. it was totally awesome and theb guitarist guy was sooo cool. it was just a fucking awesome night. i went with jeff and james and sarah and anna. quiteb fun. 2 days left til she returns. i cant wait... i decided against the airport...

im debating on whether or not i should go to the airport on tuesday to meet her when she gets back...i have no idea what i should do...i dont know...fuck im so indecisive...

this has been the longest week i've ever experienced. school's only been out for a week and it feels so much longer. iveb been so lonely. luckily i have excellent friends. no total lonliness. just the kind that comes from missing the person you love. everyday is weeks. its true. ah well. 3 more days....counting down....im such a dweeb....even moreb so cos i said dweeb....haha sticks and stones

i went to get some food a few minutes ago, and i heard the rain outside. its awesome. i love sound of rain. and then there's the far off rumble of thunder. its nice and cool outside so i opened all my windows and ill be nice and cool and soothed by the rain hittin the leaves and dirt and pavement and rooves outside my abode. good night and sweet dreams.... :stamp to dreamland:

times like these make me wish i was in paris....

i keep staring at her picture that i propped up by my computer, and the moreb i stare, the more beautiful she becomes. the eyes are just as powerful in a photograph as in real life. i can close my eyes and imagine. shes right behind me with her arms around me. 6 days left. 6 days that feel like forever. forever comes sooner than i think, so i hear. ill wait until 6 days areb up then i will rejoice. until then i will count down days and watch vh1 all day.


Goodbye Kisses Arent Enough

this picture's all i haveb left of you, you escaped across the sea from me
Im staring across the ocean after you
i wish these waves would carry you back in to my arms

your photograph stares at me, your eyes stare in to mine
they still make me warm inside me
youre almost real but i cant hug this picture

everyday takes weeks to pass, im going crazy without you
counting days til you return, til i smell your hair , til i wrap my arms round your waist,
rest my head on your shoulder, and tell you i love you. im nothing without you

long goodbyes werent enough
they just make me miss you more
i try to sleep my "miss" away but its no use
you follow me there to my dreams,
when will you come back in to my arms?

well shes off to partake of pecan pie in paris. i miss her already. and i need to find something to do. i haveb 8 days to do whatever i want. i guess its freedom. but a lonly freedom when i dont have the person i want to spend all my time with. what will i do what will i do. i wish bloggers had comment things so that people could give me some ideas. maybe ill play video games alot. i havent done that in a while. ill get my learner's permit fiiinally cos im a lazy ass and havent gotten it yet when i couldve got it in january. argh stupid parents. she got online for a few minutes beforeb she left. and i cant bring myself to close the window. maybe its like a piece of her is still there. im a dork. oh well. farewell. have an excelleant trip. ill miss you

22

You act like you're 22.
This test was brought to you by Mel - mostly....

tired. food. mussssic. food. movies. roller coasters. pelted by rain. 13 people squished in car. lots of driving. soaking wet. lazy. bored. dont know what to do. gonna sit here. never formulate sentences. food. music. sleep.

well i just got back from the piebald/juliana theory concert. it rocked to say the least. i emphasize the least part. we got there a bit late. prolly 1 or 2 songs into piebald's set but they were amazing anyway. then glassjaw came on. theyre good as well. although not the kind of band youd think would play with the other two but it was still good. except for all the fuckin idiots starting circle pits to piebald. whatever. i got the 40 song piebald discography and the first(i think its first) juliana theory cd. it has awesome songs on it. aaaaand i went to the show with erin which made it thousands of times better :) before that me and erin just walked around college park and ate some chinese food. im in a very good and energetic mood. i shold probably go to sleep soon since i have finals tomorrow but who gives a fuck im not going to school until 11. sleeeeeeep laaaate. ah yes itll be wonderful . and i just realized i havent written in here for a good while. oh well. but yeah today was an excellent day. now ill go wait online for someone. guten nacht.

ive been wondering a lot lately about what would have happened if i had stayed at dematha. mainly because i hate my stupid fucking school. and when i say stupid i mean unintelligent. the people there are idiots and the classes move so slow. i dont learn shit. if i stayed at dematha i would have gotten a much better education. i wonder if i would have met all these people i know. i wonder if i would be happy. there are so many possibilites. my parents were right, i should have stayed at dematha. fuck im stupid. well we couldnt have afforded it anyway. just like we cant afford to send me to college. isnt that just wonderful? the thing i want is to learn and i cant even get a higher education because my parents built up so much debt that they cant pay for it. im pretty much screwed whichever way you look at it. fuck

movie night

getting lost in your eyes has become,
a new past time of mine,
hearing your heartbeat in my head, when you fall asleep with me
is the most perfect thing i know.

we've watched a thousand movies on your couch
we've kissed a thousand times in your house
heard all our favorite songs
and held eachother, even when they were done

long kisses and nights in your arms
cant fix my heart when im torn away from you
this dream ive had of you for so long came true
i just want to be with you forever

it means everything to be with you, it makes me smile just to talk to you, its so magical when i touch your hand, my heart cant be kept from running after you

i can finally say these words
the three that mean the most
if i told you would you know that theyre true
i just want you to know i love you

"Sorry About That"

It hasn't been that long
Since we drank to the sunset, until it was gone
And down with it went our pain and fear
As we slowly broke contact
more and more with every beer
And we passed out in each other's arms
Both admitting we'd never felt better
Never felt so warm
But awoke in each other's eyes
Without wearing a stitch of clothing
We were both deeply in disguise
And maybe I just set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
In my own special selfish way
And if I hadn't set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
Hell knows where your heart would be today
Maybe with me

It seems like it's been so long
Since we kissed through the darkness
Until it was dawn
Up with it came our pain and fear
That we'd already lost each other
We both knew that the end was near
Maybe I just set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
In my own special selfish way
And if I hadn't set aside
The fact that you were broken hearted
Hell knows where your heart would be today
Maybe with me Maybe with me
Maybe with me Maybe with me
Maybe with me Maybe with me

not the happiest of songs, but it is incredibly excellent. and its just a good song.

Im lying on my head, no Im not in my bed, just checkin out the world from a different angle. Thats what happens when you trip on your blindness. Always seems for some reason that it is happening to me. Why is it so, and why dont I know? Why is it so, I cant see the obstacle in front of me. Christ, Im falling down again, it happens to me now and then. Im growing up yeah, growing up yeah. I wont let it fade away, I promise to be strong and brave. Im growing up yeah, growing up yeah. Open your eyes and maybe youll realise, the truth is in the thoughts you hold and not the obstacle in front of you. - living end

ive decided im too lazy to actually think about writing in here. so ill just use song lyrics as my thoughts. theyre sorta close. meh. im sure there will be somethiong about my boring day or somtehing. but for now, good day.