Which Breakfast Clubber Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
Saturday, August 31, 2002
:::Gmaj5:::
well yesterday steve came over and we chilled and wrote a song and a half. the song is really good. still needs a little more fine tuning and at least 2 more band members. but it is a superb song. im very proud of it. then we chilled for a while more and then went to the count me out and fairweather show. fairweather was really really good. i dont think ive ever danced that much besides at bane. mmm. bane. theyre soo good. the past few days ive just been playing non stop bane. i put in holding this moment and crank it and the guitar amp and i just play. i never even played the cd before but somehow i know how to play it automatically. its wonderful. such a good band. so after the show we chilled for a while, ate, slept. woke up realyl early for some reason. so he left this morning around like 8:15 or something. but yesterday was a good day. im sad though. i really miss erin. i havent seen her since tuesday. and after seeing her literally everyday in the summer(except when she was in europe) its hard to not see her often. hopefully ill see her today sometime. ill call after im done writing this. i gotta clean sometime today or tomorrow. i need more money. i had lots but i spent it all on cds and food. so bad. i need to stop doing that. but i guess i was gonna spend it one cds anyway since i have a list of cds i really want to get. isaac was at the show. a cool fellow i must say. and smart. and sometimes i detect an overall wiseness not seen in many people. cool guy. angie and drew and lee fang showed up too. i decided that i dont like lee. oh well. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::i came up with an idea the other day in english class. i finally got fed up with all the ignorance and self importance and close-mindedness of the people at my school. and i realized that if there are that many people like that at my school alone, then the world is a fucked up place. i know its mean. but my goal is to be smarter. and be able to go up to someone, and say a few sentences about how its stupid to complacently wander through learning, and how they need to open themselves up to new ideas and better ways of living and interacting with people. and i want to make them realize just through my words, that i utterly despise them. but the goal would be not to make them feel stupid and leave them feelign that way. the desired outcome would be that they would realize and understand their ignorance and change their lives for the better. it sounds a bit self righteous as well but whatever. it just came into me head one day. and ive resolved to read more books. since i finish tests and quizzes fast and sometimes have no work, im going to read a lot of books in school and a lote more out of school. starting with dune and i want to read brave new world again. then i will go from there and just read. expand my vocabulary. better my mind. i want to think better and more decisive and more clearly. but enough of intelligence stuff. i think i wrote enough. there was more i wanted to write but i always forget some of the things i want to write in here. oh well. neat.
compact optical music disc of the moment: fairweather - alaska
well yesterday steve came over and we chilled and wrote a song and a half. the song is really good. still needs a little more fine tuning and at least 2 more band members. but it is a superb song. im very proud of it. then we chilled for a while more and then went to the count me out and fairweather show. fairweather was really really good. i dont think ive ever danced that much besides at bane. mmm. bane. theyre soo good. the past few days ive just been playing non stop bane. i put in holding this moment and crank it and the guitar amp and i just play. i never even played the cd before but somehow i know how to play it automatically. its wonderful. such a good band. so after the show we chilled for a while, ate, slept. woke up realyl early for some reason. so he left this morning around like 8:15 or something. but yesterday was a good day. im sad though. i really miss erin. i havent seen her since tuesday. and after seeing her literally everyday in the summer(except when she was in europe) its hard to not see her often. hopefully ill see her today sometime. ill call after im done writing this. i gotta clean sometime today or tomorrow. i need more money. i had lots but i spent it all on cds and food. so bad. i need to stop doing that. but i guess i was gonna spend it one cds anyway since i have a list of cds i really want to get. isaac was at the show. a cool fellow i must say. and smart. and sometimes i detect an overall wiseness not seen in many people. cool guy. angie and drew and lee fang showed up too. i decided that i dont like lee. oh well. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::i came up with an idea the other day in english class. i finally got fed up with all the ignorance and self importance and close-mindedness of the people at my school. and i realized that if there are that many people like that at my school alone, then the world is a fucked up place. i know its mean. but my goal is to be smarter. and be able to go up to someone, and say a few sentences about how its stupid to complacently wander through learning, and how they need to open themselves up to new ideas and better ways of living and interacting with people. and i want to make them realize just through my words, that i utterly despise them. but the goal would be not to make them feel stupid and leave them feelign that way. the desired outcome would be that they would realize and understand their ignorance and change their lives for the better. it sounds a bit self righteous as well but whatever. it just came into me head one day. and ive resolved to read more books. since i finish tests and quizzes fast and sometimes have no work, im going to read a lot of books in school and a lote more out of school. starting with dune and i want to read brave new world again. then i will go from there and just read. expand my vocabulary. better my mind. i want to think better and more decisive and more clearly. but enough of intelligence stuff. i think i wrote enough. there was more i wanted to write but i always forget some of the things i want to write in here. oh well. neat.
compact optical music disc of the moment: fairweather - alaska
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
good old ben franklin
SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
good old ben franklin
:::Csus9:::
so blogger is being shitty and slow and it sucks. but yeah school is...well its school. i have lunch at 10:45. then 4 and a half hours of classes wiht no breaks. what fun. my room is finally done being rearranged and cleaned. it only took like a week. memory loss sucks ass. i hate forgeting things this much. its been, 3 days. it seems so much longer. friday going to see fairweather adn soem other bands at joe's with steve and probably sarah. as for the rest of my week ill be doing AP chem work the whole time. and playing guitar and writing new shit. going to driving school sometime soon. that should be...interesting. need to write more. more music. need to sleep more. need rest. i got a slayer cd and a sum 41 cd yesterday. as well as a 144 cd holder thing. its bery handy to have all my cds in one place. i just better not lose it or ill die. drummer, bassist, guitarist wanted. bane will be my music of choice for the bus ride tomorrow. random tid bit. im so exhausted. but its all the time. maybe somethigns wrong with me. maybe i need to eat healthier. im gonna start excercising everyday. and making myself healthy. i figure itll cancel out the unhealthy things i do. i can feel intelligence filling me up again. although i do have some moments of non-claity where nothing makes sense. its odd. no more getting pushed around. assertive. headstrong. respectfully defiant. random. sleep. now. good night and good luck with all.
music: the 60 cycle hum of the computer in front of me
so blogger is being shitty and slow and it sucks. but yeah school is...well its school. i have lunch at 10:45. then 4 and a half hours of classes wiht no breaks. what fun. my room is finally done being rearranged and cleaned. it only took like a week. memory loss sucks ass. i hate forgeting things this much. its been, 3 days. it seems so much longer. friday going to see fairweather adn soem other bands at joe's with steve and probably sarah. as for the rest of my week ill be doing AP chem work the whole time. and playing guitar and writing new shit. going to driving school sometime soon. that should be...interesting. need to write more. more music. need to sleep more. need rest. i got a slayer cd and a sum 41 cd yesterday. as well as a 144 cd holder thing. its bery handy to have all my cds in one place. i just better not lose it or ill die. drummer, bassist, guitarist wanted. bane will be my music of choice for the bus ride tomorrow. random tid bit. im so exhausted. but its all the time. maybe somethigns wrong with me. maybe i need to eat healthier. im gonna start excercising everyday. and making myself healthy. i figure itll cancel out the unhealthy things i do. i can feel intelligence filling me up again. although i do have some moments of non-claity where nothing makes sense. its odd. no more getting pushed around. assertive. headstrong. respectfully defiant. random. sleep. now. good night and good luck with all.
music: the 60 cycle hum of the computer in front of me
Sunday, August 25, 2002
puzzling: the evaporation of milk and apples
i didnt even know it was possible to evaporate milk but i guess maybe. but an apple?? i was thinking it was ike takign all the water out of it, but that's dehydrated. i dont know. if anyone has any clue, please tell me. so im tired. i rearranged my room. that was cool. still not quite done. gotta move the chair, and clean up a little more debris then ill be all well and good. school tomorrow. i dont really care either way. it'll be a nice change. oh well. i just gotta get up early. thats waht i dont want to do. meh. sleep.
i didnt even know it was possible to evaporate milk but i guess maybe. but an apple?? i was thinking it was ike takign all the water out of it, but that's dehydrated. i dont know. if anyone has any clue, please tell me. so im tired. i rearranged my room. that was cool. still not quite done. gotta move the chair, and clean up a little more debris then ill be all well and good. school tomorrow. i dont really care either way. it'll be a nice change. oh well. i just gotta get up early. thats waht i dont want to do. meh. sleep.
Saturday, August 24, 2002
and it all came free
well i just got back fomr the brand new/taking back sunday show. it was pretty good. small venue. i was so very tired. most of brand new's set is all a blur of fatigue and hunger. it was still an excellent show though. i finally cleaned my fish tank so now its not all green and you can actually see through the water. i chilled with andrew today for a bit while he packed. he's gonna let me use his speaker cabinet until i can get the $200 to buy it from him when he comes back for thanksgiving. its soooo awesome. so now i have a bass half stack in my room, and a speaker cab, and 2 basses, 2 guitars, and an acoustic. and me. its packed. so i thionk tomorrow im gonna blast the converge and rearrange my room a bit. maybe itll be cool. i dont know. we'll see. hm. i think thats everything. im too tired to explain more and think of anything. good night.
well i just got back fomr the brand new/taking back sunday show. it was pretty good. small venue. i was so very tired. most of brand new's set is all a blur of fatigue and hunger. it was still an excellent show though. i finally cleaned my fish tank so now its not all green and you can actually see through the water. i chilled with andrew today for a bit while he packed. he's gonna let me use his speaker cabinet until i can get the $200 to buy it from him when he comes back for thanksgiving. its soooo awesome. so now i have a bass half stack in my room, and a speaker cab, and 2 basses, 2 guitars, and an acoustic. and me. its packed. so i thionk tomorrow im gonna blast the converge and rearrange my room a bit. maybe itll be cool. i dont know. we'll see. hm. i think thats everything. im too tired to explain more and think of anything. good night.
Friday, August 23, 2002
Thursday, August 22, 2002
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
:::the disection and subsequent consumption of an orange:::
'i am my own super hero,
i am my own breaking branch,
cut the branch to fit my life
its my turn to be the saw'
im here alone and bored listening to the EVR/Doghouse sampler i got at the warped tour. its really good. no badness inside of me. today was fun. tiring. im tired. im lazy. need money. need to drive. need to recuperate for a few days and rest and eat healthy. fruits veggies and all good things. must replenish intelligence. im nothing without my mind. im nothing without my music. but luckily i have it. my mind is slowly coming back. thankfully. today was good. some new bands to check out.....-> coheed and cambria, the all-american rejects, favez, the rocking horse winner. awesome shit. check it out. download it burn whatever the fuck you want. listen.
what's penetrating my ears at the moment: the rockign horse winner - miss you
'i am my own super hero,
i am my own breaking branch,
cut the branch to fit my life
its my turn to be the saw'
im here alone and bored listening to the EVR/Doghouse sampler i got at the warped tour. its really good. no badness inside of me. today was fun. tiring. im tired. im lazy. need money. need to drive. need to recuperate for a few days and rest and eat healthy. fruits veggies and all good things. must replenish intelligence. im nothing without my mind. im nothing without my music. but luckily i have it. my mind is slowly coming back. thankfully. today was good. some new bands to check out.....-> coheed and cambria, the all-american rejects, favez, the rocking horse winner. awesome shit. check it out. download it burn whatever the fuck you want. listen.
what's penetrating my ears at the moment: the rockign horse winner - miss you
Sunday, August 11, 2002
??..........mean........inconsiderate......kind.........faceless..........empty..........warm.........loving........... tearing......... teasing......taunting.......... questioning............. disbelief............love..........hate........... compassion..........comfort......... insomnia.......self-destruction......rock star....... twisted....... fake?......... forever........ detatched......... despise....... concealer......... confusion.........pity.......worthless.......endless...........boredom.........hide..............run............dodge........together..........ignore.........be ignored........... pain........ paint........ decay..........joy.......sew.......flower.......unsure............random words that seem to spill out of my head yet i dont know why or where they came from........some good, some bad, some confusing. i dont know...maybe ill know soon. i hope. oh well.........im sure it will
Friday, August 09, 2002
the warped tour was so fucking awesome!!! i saw thursday, alkaline trio, NOFX, reel big fish, new found glory, death by stereo. i got the new foudn glory set list when chad(guitarist) threw it off the stage. it was a totally awesome day besides the fact that i got really bad sun burn. reeeally burnt. ah well it was worth it. now im at erins and i have a show sometime today in cottage city. ill have to figure out how im gonna get there. i guess i'll get a ride from andrew at some point hopefully. well for now im gonna go eat and rest adn hopefully i'll get a hair cut at some point today. asta la pasta
Thursday, August 08, 2002
so tomorrow is warped tour. but lets start from today. i woke up and hung out with someone allll day and watched all the star wars movies. quite excellent. it was super fun. then we walked to college park. oh god it is sooooo nice outside. but yeah today was super fun. and tomorrow is the warped tour. gotta get up at 9 to go to andrew;s house cos hes my ride. then friday, time out of line has a new show at the bionic man house. all the other plans got cancelled (the show in bowie on friday, practice today, and recording this weekend) i was kinda disappointed. but oh well. tomorrow is going to be fun. thursday, NOFX, new found glory, alkaline trio, MXPX, glassjaw, reel big fish and others. go here for complete list...bristow bands its gonna be great. blaze
so tomorrow is warped tour. but lets start from today. i woke up and hung out with someone allll day and watched all the star wars movies. quite excellent. it was super fun. then we walked to college park. oh god it is sooooo nice outside. but yeah today was super fun. and tomorrow is the warped tour. gotta get up at 9 to go to andrew;s house cos hes my ride. then friday, time out of line has a new show at the bionic man house. all the other plans got cancelled (the show in bowie on friday, practice today, and recording this weekend) i was kinda disappointed. but oh well. tomorrow is going to be fun. thursday, NOFX, new found glory, alkaline trio, MXPX, glassjaw, reel big fish and others. go here for complete list... its gonna be great. blaze
Tuesday, August 06, 2002
well time out of line practices on wednesday, show in bowie on friday, and possible recording our new songs maybe for a final album. itll be quite a fun week with other things coming up too. warped tour on thursday, tomorrow though i have to get up at 8:00 for an appointment with my social worker. its all good though good things will come of it. ill eat dinner wiht some cool people tomorrow. that'll be excellent. and hm...other than that im pretty booked for the next week. although i know i'll make time to see someone. and i need money desperately. so i can pay for warped tour, goldfinger on the 12, and taking back sunday and brand new on the 23rd. filled up month. i can prpabaly beg to borrow some money fomr my parents and pay them backl when i get some cash. i know people are gonna kill me for saying this, but i want school to come back. i want to skip school again haha. i want to learn. hopefully i will thiso year. oh well. its been a good day. started off kinda shake and unsure when i woke up at 8:30 and went to the dentist and he klled my mouth. it sill hurts. ah well it'll be better tomorrow. oh and thirty-7 practice was today, and we need to practice a lot more before we record around the 16th. i think we'll make a decent record. so long and thanks for all the fish.
Thursday, August 01, 2002
tell all my friends I'm dead, I'm leaving you, this time its for good, tell all my friends that I'm dead,it won't be long before you forget my name. can you tell that I'm losing myself? I think I'm trying too hard to let it show, to let you know to trace your footsteps back to me
cus I've been gone for a long time waiting on the sidelines hoping for a chance to play, well I thought I would never leave anything behind. I also never thought I'd say...tell all my friends I'm dead, I'm leaving you, this time its for good. tell all my friends that I'm dead
it won't be long before you forget my name. can you tell that I don't know myself ? I need someone to remind me to let it go please let me know to trace your footsteps back to me. and if I had the chance to do it all again I wouldn't expect anything less. and if I had the chance to do it all again I wouldn't expect, I wouldn't expect anything less tell all my friends I'm dead I'm leaving you, this time its for good, tell all my friends that I'm dead, it won't be long before you forget my name
forget my name
well i might as well be dead. fuck it. i hate being this tired cos i get so fucking depressed. i know i should go to bed but i also know i wont bve able to sleep. might as well forget my name. no one's going to remember me anyway. i have no future. sure i can play 'ok' music. but that wont get me anywhere. its too highly unlikely that ill make it. i hate being like this. i hate my parents. i hate this fake lonliness i feel. this fake feeling of being left out. even though its my fault. i should just sit in my house all day and do nothing. maybe then id never feel sad. maybr if im dead i wont be sad. hm that might work. aaah. fuck everything. i hate clenching thsi safety pin pondering what it could do to me. too much shit going on. but in reality its probably some stupid shit and its really nothing. once i sleep i know ill be better. and i know its all just cos im so fuckin exhausted. but ugh its some shit. stupid concussion making me have to stay up all night. well i did get sleep. but i did too many things that make me exert myself. like tryign to skateboard and sucking horribly at it. alone forgotten unneeded dismissed ignored bullshit fuck it all...
cus I've been gone for a long time waiting on the sidelines hoping for a chance to play, well I thought I would never leave anything behind. I also never thought I'd say...tell all my friends I'm dead, I'm leaving you, this time its for good. tell all my friends that I'm dead
it won't be long before you forget my name. can you tell that I don't know myself ? I need someone to remind me to let it go please let me know to trace your footsteps back to me. and if I had the chance to do it all again I wouldn't expect anything less. and if I had the chance to do it all again I wouldn't expect, I wouldn't expect anything less tell all my friends I'm dead I'm leaving you, this time its for good, tell all my friends that I'm dead, it won't be long before you forget my name
forget my name
well i might as well be dead. fuck it. i hate being this tired cos i get so fucking depressed. i know i should go to bed but i also know i wont bve able to sleep. might as well forget my name. no one's going to remember me anyway. i have no future. sure i can play 'ok' music. but that wont get me anywhere. its too highly unlikely that ill make it. i hate being like this. i hate my parents. i hate this fake lonliness i feel. this fake feeling of being left out. even though its my fault. i should just sit in my house all day and do nothing. maybe then id never feel sad. maybr if im dead i wont be sad. hm that might work. aaah. fuck everything. i hate clenching thsi safety pin pondering what it could do to me. too much shit going on. but in reality its probably some stupid shit and its really nothing. once i sleep i know ill be better. and i know its all just cos im so fuckin exhausted. but ugh its some shit. stupid concussion making me have to stay up all night. well i did get sleep. but i did too many things that make me exert myself. like tryign to skateboard and sucking horribly at it. alone forgotten unneeded dismissed ignored bullshit fuck it all...