fuck ostricization...

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...
But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you need me, for you to notice me

[Music: For You To Notice - Dashboard Confessional]

One simple wish now dies.

I dont know how it feels? you think youre the only person on earth who wakes up every morning wishing there was someone else?!

its starting....my friends are dribbling away. or maybe its just me.

Another day passes by. Another attempt at love remains unrequited.
Why do I even bother? I should have learned from the past. I am but a statue.
Impervious to love. This punctured heart is mine. Becomes a handful of dust. Dust.
Hope has now wilted away. Wilted. Along with these dreams that became emptiness.
A final exit becomes clear. I am self destructive. A product of this solitude.
I am riddled with shards. One simple wish now dies. Was my request so great?
One simple wish now dies.
Was my request so great? Once again I drown in its denial. Was it so complicated?
Once again. I've been. Spit upon. Taken with a grain of salt. My life is gone.

[Music: Grain Of Salt - Poison The Well]

ok...so i got lyrics for 12 songs....cd cover art that ive photographed and put together. now, all i need is to write the music, and the hardest part, how to since it vocally, i need to just try some shit out, and see how it goes. i may like it, or i may not, but i want to hear other people's opnions, critique is always good. this is going to be it.

[Music: Bring Back The Sun - Our Lady Peace]

it has to be hard doesnt it? one little factor is so big. stops the train right in its tracks. well two factors. whys it gotta go and be so complicated? heh. time.

ive been clenching my teeth for too long
its been far too long since my friends were here
all i know is lonliness and my life is never fair
sometimes we're just alone and helpless

i once belived in myself when i believed i had it all
the more you see i have, the less is inside me
id give it all up just to have some peace of mind
and i wonder why my jaw's so sore

just sitting in my room alone
there isnt a true face in the crowd
no one means anything they think
no one thinks anything they mean

stay here by me cos you're the only
thing keeping me alive
youre the only one keeping me who i am
youre the one who makes me belive in me

home on a saturday night - a friend too far

booooooored bored bored bored!!!!!!

[Music: Escape Artist - Darkest Hour]

Nino


Who in Amelie are you???
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Boy Crazy - A New Found Glory]

"You Shook Me All Night Long" (by AC/DC)
'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -
Shook me all night long.


Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are "Welcome to the Caribbean, love."
You're more than a little world-weary, but also
intelligent and you keep your head when things
get dodgy. You're everybody's favorite
drinking buddy, but your stubbornness does get
in the way sometimes.


Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Breathe - The Prodigy]

im a loner dottie a rebel.....it seems more and more i want to be alone. except for the company of a select few that dont annoy me, or are my best friends, or are just awesome. i love spendnign time with them. but it seems most other people are fake and dont hold to their promises, or plans. confused. my legs are sore. growing. gonna be taller. life? pssh. who needs one

[Music: If I Told You This Was Killing Me, Would You Stop? - Juliana Theory]

you know how you can be at a loss for words? well, it kinda sucks. and im at a loss for thoughts....or maybe its an over abundance of thougts. so much going on. im busy inside. thinking. being. living. wondering. questioning. sigh. the phone is always dead to me.

[Music: A Plain Morning - Dashboard Confessional]

again im a sucker for a heavy breakdown....hence the odd music....dashboard to slipknot??? its the hear i swear...........it was hot as fuck...now i get naked ;) shower, crazy kids

[Music: Wait and Bleed - Slipknot]

random observation of the day....i seem to have gotten into this pattern, where i dont like that last little bit of food. liek the last bit of a poptart...i juts can bring myself to finish it. and with a bowl of noodles or something...its hard to eat the very last noodle. its very odd. ok well now im off to bed. lots to think about. people and life. i wonder if you know who you are...i wonder if tomorrow will be easier....more laid back. course it always. maybe im too laid back for my own good. or maybe i just look so laid back...i cant tell. i am usually. im tired. and rambling. mm.... girls girls girls -twisted sister. out. in. left. crap. onto the floor. night.

SOYsolv®: You are made from soybean oil, and are used in a wide range of applications, including asphalt release, mastic removal, and hydrocarbon cleaning. You are biodegradable, and your flash point is >300°F, Pensky-Martens closed cup, and >650°F open cup. Find out what kind of industrial solvent you are

[Music: The Leaving Song Part 2 - AFI]

ok so this is supppper lame....buuut haha whatever....i put my picture on "hot or not.com" purely for research purposes only...im just curious...i mostly want to see if any gay guys hit on me...im weird haha i dont know. if youre bored and dont consider me too much of a loser go here...be honest...you wont hurt my feelings. im fairly agile, i can bend and not break. buuuut i can break and take it with a smile. out.
here is the site..

[Music: New York Woman - The Stryder]

gonna rock the espresso machine tonight!! hopefully some good stuff will come of it

just some good songs i heard walking to school...


When Kelly cries, the makeup runs from her eyes
And spills the truth about how she feels inside
When Kelly screams, it usually means I'm not being me
But she's not being her, but anyway

A second chance means nothing,
'Cause nothing's learned from past mistakes
And I'm sure we felt the weight, the weight

And three whole years fall on deaf ears
I'm in no place for solitaire
Three whole years fall on deaf ears
If you can't understand our fears, it's not fair to me

Do you remember when? Kelly, do you remember when?
When I figured it was cool, and I figured wrong

A second chance means nothing,
'Cause nothing's learned from past mistakes
And I'm sure we felt the weight

And do you know how I know?
Because all those times we looked in each other's eyes,
And we ignored all the signs

And three whole years fall on deaf ears
I'm in no place for solitaire
Three whole years fall on deaf ears
If you can't understand our fears, it's not fair to me

Do you remember when? Kelly, do you remember when?
When I figured it was cool, and I figured wrong
Do you remember when? Kelly, do you remember when?
When I figured it was cool, and I figured wrong

Why do I even try? (I don't know, it's all for nothing)
Why do I even try? (I don't know, it's all for nothing)
I'm waiting for you, will you wait for me too?
Yeah wait for me, yeah wait for me, it's not fair to me

Do you remember when? Kelly, do you remember when?
When you figured it was cool, and you figured wrong
Do you remember when? Kelly, do you remember when?
When you figured it was cool, and you figured wrong
You figured wrong, you figured wrong, you figured wrong
And you figured it was cool, and you figured wrong

[Music: Kelly Song - The Movielife]

Hey, I guess I'll figure it out
The reasons why things went the way they did
And why we can't accept it
We'd fall asleep
But not before we'd exercise
The evil thing that everyone hides

We would lie there in my bed
Do you remember all those nights we never slept?
No clothes, sweaty
Doing all the things I never thought I'd do
And I did them for you

And hey, don't feel bad
But what can ever take away the boardwalk trips or us away
I think we grew up
Past the hang-ups and the evil stares
The fuck you too's and I don't care's

We would lie there in my bed
Do you remember all those nights we never slept?
No clothes, sweaty
Doing all the things I never thought I'd do
And I did them for you

Hey, I guess I'll figure it out
The reasons why things went the way they did
And why we can't accept it
We'd fall asleep
But not before we'd exercise
The evil thing that everyone hides

We would lie there in my bed
Do you remember all those nights we never slept?
And even though we brought it crashing to an end
I loved it all, and now I love my friend
I loved it all, I loved the girl, I love my friend

[Music: Hey - The Movielife]

"You dick, you're sending me to hell?!"
"Don't flatter yourself you're not that interesting."

man ive been busy...well yeah. busy. watching "dead like me" that show rocks so hard. i dont know theres just somethign aobu it that draws me to it. heh. yeeeah so ive been writing more music and just hanging around. im gonna start doing all my work riiiiight now. i have to study. and ill start doing that and keeping up with everything. its about time. school is nice. i mean its school. but i have classes with my friends exept 4th pd english with like nobody. maybe kat if she transfers which would be cool. yeeeah so. hm. now off to guitar and work. and chill. dashboard soon!!! wooo cant wait. out.

[Music: Spanaway - The Movielife]

hm ok...haha well i stole all these quizzes fro lucy

and this one????


You're Quinn. You act cutesy and popular, but you
have another side to you, one that's deeper and
even semi-intelligent. Drop those faux friends
and get a real future, willya?


What Daria Character Are You? (With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


oh man...

[Music: The Taste of Ink - The Used]

YOUR SO EMO...:sigh: your an emotional person and
your friends suck, music helps you deal with
that.


labels suck! but which one are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla



hah who would have thought :)



You fell in love and got hurt. Whether your
significant other cheated or just didn't like
you, your not dealing well. Chances are you'd
do anything to get him/her back, or maybe you
just can't wait to rip their throat out. Cheer
up kid, get over it. There's other fish in the
sea.


What's your phobia?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Maybe Memories - The Used]

Congrats! You're Mason!


Which character from 'Dead Like Me' are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Buried Myself Alive - The Used]

so yeah...last night a recorded me singing "brilliant dance" by dashboard. its up now, go to the "a friend too far" link at left, and at thje bottom is the song...its bad....tired and sad and yeah...download.

[Music: The Leaving Song - AFI]

fuck fuck fuck....this is the hardest thing ive ever done....FUCK!

[Music: brilliant dance -Dashboard Confessional]

You are Apple Dos. Simple and primitive with a good understanding of the common man. You're still a work in progress, but a good start.
Which OS are You?

[Music: If You Can't Leave It Be, Might As Well Make It Bleed - Dashboard Confessional]

fuck i cant write music worht shit...

ok so i think erics address, where the show will be, is 3701 41st ave or place or something....cottage city Md

I guess it's luck, but it's the same
Hard luck, you've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love, but it's like you said,
"Love is like a role that we play."

But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say

But, you're chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It's getting away from you again
While you're chasin' ghosts

I guess it's luck, but it's the same
Hard luck, you've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love, but it's like you said,
"Love is like a role that we play."

But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say

But, you're chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It's getting away from you again
While you're chasin' ghosts

Just bend the pieces til they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren't meant for this
No, they weren't meant for this

Just bend the pieces til they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren't meant for this

Chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It's getting away, away, away, away from you again

Chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It's getting away from you again
While you're chasin' ghosts

[Music: Ghost of a Good Thing - Dashboard Confessional]

damn...made a website in 20 minutes...its up. so yeah im tried. practice was good. guitar=awesome....time for bed. night

[Music: Ghost of a Good Thing - Dashboard Confessional]

wont you hold me now
i will not bend i will not break
wont you hold me now
i will not bend i will not break

[Music: Bend and Not Break - Dashboard Confessional]

Carve your heart out yourself
Hopelessness is your cell
Since you've drawn out these lines
Are you protected from trying times?

Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has
Lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all
Oh Lord, now, there you go with hope again
Oh, you're so sure I'll be leaving in the end

Dig a ditch deep enough
To keep you clear of the sun
You've been burned more than once
You don't think much of trust

Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has
Lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all
Oh Lord, now, there you go with hope again
But I'll be sure your secret is safe with me
Oh, you're so sure I'll be leaving in the end
Treating me like I'm already gone

But I'm not, I will stay where you are always
I will stay, I will stay, I will stay (all of now)

[Music: Carve Your Heart Out Yourself - Dashboard Confessional]

so today was just another old day...worked...it was hot as shit outside...one of the hottest days of summer if not the hottest. tiring. so i cam home and sat around. then me and lucy went to the park and i played guitar and we chilled at her house and then talked with her sister for a while. it was cool and chill. i like playing guitar and singing. tomorrow a bit of jamming with shane to get some guitar stuff worked out for the show friday. i cant wait. and im buying the marshall head...man so tight...sigh. still bittersweet. me and ida are still on sucky terms. i dont know. i havent talked to her. first time in a very long time ive gone a day without any sort of communication. i think we are both just tired and stressed. as usual. and blow things out of proportion. maybe i keep fucking up. i dont know. we need to talk about whats going on. that would help. if you read this, then well, yeah.
but yeah, so sunday me and lucy are going to get tickets to dashboard for september...maybe her friend adrienne might come. i cant wait. good ol chris carrabba....ive learned his name isnt dashboard. fiinally...out.

[Music: Carry This Picture - Dashboard Confessional]

XkellyveronicaX: yeah, you proly will
XkellyveronicaX: you're pretty damn talented
XkellyveronicaX: and you have ambition
XkellyveronicaX: so there ya go
Tre4222: haha i hope so
XkellyveronicaX: you're already kinda famous, everyone knows you on the "scene"
Tre4222: do they?
XkellyveronicaX: they do
Tre4222: awesome
XkellyveronicaX: word
XkellyveronicaX: no one knows who i am, so i have to make friends on the scene by association. for example, i was at a show in a group of ppl, remaining silent, and somehow some guy named sam said somethin asking someone if you were touring with bionic man this summer. and i jumped in and was like "yes! trevor is, but not for very long bc he has to work and his parents wont let him tour for too long." and he was like "you know trevor?" and i was like "yup" and then we continued conversing b/c of that. i am a looser all on my own


thanks kelly that made my day!! oh and show, bionic man house friday the 22nd of August at the Bionic House in Cottage City. if you dont know, ask me where it is. this might be your first chance to see me play guitar live....which i have almost never done....itll rip.

[Music: The Rise and Fall of An Empire - Bionic Man]

gotta love those fleeting morning moments when you first wake up and dont remembet that the love of your life hates you and that you hate your life....maybe i should sleep more, and wake up less...off to work

[Music: Under a Killing Moon - Thrice]

on a decidedly brighter note....i am going to play guitar for bionic man. occasionally lead. it will be awesome. and ill prolly buy his marshall JCM900? maybe 800 for like $350....theyre $700 or more usually and you cant find them anywhere anymore...have to see....let it work out

what more can i do?
i cant be perfect forever
that assumes i was in the first place
sorry honey im far from it
i wish i could be for you

this rift comes on a bittersweet night
that tastes of sweat and perfume
the anger pierces everyhing i can say
how quickly moods will change
and this is the one time when
ill scream change is as bad as my singing

i had great plans for tonight but they didnt include
screaming at miscommunications
they didnt include a lonely night at home
pouring my heart out in a song

i wont see you for days
and you knew that would kill me
i was too busy, i fucked up
and the times i was sometimes thought
to be perfect, i watch them float away down the road
well look now, see me for who i really am,
an imperfect little boy missing without you

a friend too far - factory refurbished

[Hot Music of the Moment: Carve Your Heart Out Yourself - Dashboard Confessional]

so i got the new dashboard cd....its actually really good. more rock stuff now...kinda like further seems forever but better. rocks out. and came with a dvd.


this is the last time you'll hear me say it
so goddamnit stop playing me like i'm stupid
do you think i'm so blind?
its wonderful how you make up your mind like you've made it up
look at you now. You know your faking that look again
I know your faking "I love you"s again.

don't hesitate to say love isn't easy
just tell me the truth
tell me what you're thinking
don't tell me you're not
cos I can see it in your eyes
scorching away your heart
mauling the sleeve my heart was on

where were you when I believed in you
how could you get so far away at just a glance
i'm starting to feel your emptiness you left at my feet
no wait its all the tears I never should have cried for you

i'm convinced that you wont hold a grudge
you never had anything to lose
I heard you figured id lose everything
who knew id lose it all to you

you never did learn to just leave me alone
i've forgotten love and i'm not going to learn


lost and broken - a friend too far

[Music: Rapid Hope Loss - Dashboard Confessional]

different song from what im listening to...if you didnt know

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
and the cool guys that you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

Don't you see, don't you see,
that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
'cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service
to keeping you away.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
too late to be graciousand you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late

fuck tonight....shit just isnt going right

[Music: Grain Of Salt - Poison The Well]

tiiiiiiiiiired.......tiiiiiiiiiired.....sleep

[Music: Stacey's Mom - Fountains of Wayne]

[Music: I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light - Brand New]

The time has come for colds and overcoats. We're quiet on the ride, we're all just waiting to get home. Another week away, my greatest fear. I need the smell of summer, I need its noises in my ears. If looks could really kill, then my profession would staring. Please know we do this cause we care and not for the thrill. Collect calls to home to tell them that I realize that everyone who lives will someday die and die alone. And we won't let you in. Though we're down and out. We won't let you in. I wrote more postcards than hooks. I read more maps than books. Feel like every chance to leave is another chance I should have took. Every minute is a mile. I've never felt so hallow. I'm an old abandoned church with broken pews and empty aisles. My secrets for a buck. Watch me as I cut myself wide open on this stage. Yes, I am paid to spill my guts. I won't see home till spring. Oh, I would kill for the Atlantic, but I am paid to make girls panic while I sing. And we won't let you in. Though we're down and out.
We won't let you in. And we won't let you in. We don't want what isn't ours. We won't let you in. You win. And the coastline is quiet. While we're quietly losing control. Yes, we're silent but sure we invented the cure that will wash out my memories of her. "The harpoon is loaded. The cage is lowered. The water is red." Like you.

[Music: Play Crack the Sky - Brand New]

We sent out the SOS call. It was a quarter past four in the morning when the storm broke our second anchor line. Four months at sea, four months of calm seas only to be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point. They call then rogues, they travel fast and alone. On hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong. What they call love is a risk, cause you will always get hit out of nowhere by some wave and end up on your own. The hole in the hull defied tthe crews attempts to bail us out. And flooded the engines and radio and half buried bow. Your tongue is a rudder. It steers the whole ship. Sends your words past your lips or keeps them safe behind your teeth. But the wrong words will strand you. Come off course while you sleep. Sweep your boat out to sea or dashed to bits on the reef. The vessel groads the ocean pressures its frame. Off the port I see the lighthouse through the sleet and rain. And I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts. But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west. They say that the captain stays fast with the ship through still and storm. But this ain't the Dakota, adnt the water is cold. We won't have to fight for long. This is the end. This story's old but it goes on and on until we dissappear. Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath. I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea. I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean. I know that this is what you want. A funeral keeps both of us apart. You kno that you are not alone. Need you like water in my lungs. This is the end.

scars they cut into you
blisters rose colored hue
mayday we're going down
these mescaline memories are morose
your kerosene company is comatose

-vendetta red: shatterday

[Music: Standard Lines - Dashboard Confessional]

I am, of course, none other than blank verse. I don't know where I'm going, yes, quite right; And when I get there (if I ever do) I might not recognise it. So? Your point? Why should I have a destination set? I'm relatively happy as I am, And wouldn't want to be forever aimed Towards some future path or special goal. It's not to do with laziness, as such. It's just that one the whole I'd rather not Be bothered - so I drift contentedly; An underrated way of life, I find. What Poetry Form Are You?

[Music: The Great Disappointment - AFI]

I am 75% Emo

Holy gee whilikers... I am as emo as it gets... I will try to cheer the heck up and stop wiping my nose on my sweater...

Take the Emo Test at fuali.com

[Music: The Great Disappointment - AFI]

AFI !!!!!!!!!!!!! so good

[Music: Miseria Cantare (The Beginning) - AFI]

Dashboard Confessional
w/ MXPX ? Brand New ? Vendetta Red
@ A.U. Bender Arena ? Washington, DC
SUN. SEP. 7
$21.50

a little pricey but its gonna kick so much ass...vendetta red, brand new, aaaand dashboard...oh yeah...mxpx...eh theyre alright. oen thing though, theyre like 25 and already have a 10 year greatest hits album. crazy. btu yeah ive been chillin. yesterday i went to philly to visit drexel. it is suuuuuch a nice school. god i so want to go there. the music industry program is gonna be tight. and its got a co-op sophomore and junior years. where i could work in LA, NYC, or pretty much wherever there are jobs available in the music industry. recording, acoustics, sound reinforcement, mangement, promotions. oh and there's a student managed record label there. thats awesome. sooo yeah i just need the money cos its expensive as all hell....i mean dammmmn. oh well. ill see what i can do with loans and scholarships. if i cant, ill settle for GW, American, CUA, or UMD. all of which are free except for UMD, which is pretty cheap. i will just have to see. but good stuff. ive been riding my bike a lot. to get back in shape and the like. weeeell im off to breakfast cos im hungry as shiiiiit. out.

[Music: Torn - Poison The Well]

so yeah....people searched for a friend too far, and my blogger came up. and people keep asking if they can listen. well here it is. i am a friend too far. my lyrics. i have been recording and writing songs. soooo when they are done i will have a cd out. and they will be up on the internet. it wont be the beeest recording quality, unless i get a new mic and new sound card, but its good enough. ok. trired. out.

[Music: boombox generation - Motion City Soundtrack]

all good and a sexy guitar....title for a new song

[Music: My Favorite Accident - Motion City Soundtrack]

My new guitar!!! :)

[Music: The Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional]

well that was good. had a nice conversation with galina. havent really "talked" to her in soo long. shes an awesome person. kinda caught up. me and my damn nostalgia trips haha....conversation made me happy. new guitar made me happy too. epiphone les paul standard plus....fucking sweet guitar. but something is still missing. : / sigh...what to do

[Music: Guernica - Brand New]

damnit damnit fuck...so much pain....my arm is fucking killing me. advil had better kick in soon. i can take a lot of pain, but this is pushing it. saw tomb raider with ida tonight. it was alright. tomorrow is saturday. the weekend is finally here. gotta wake up early though so i can go get my learners renewed. haha im such a loser. still havent got my lisence yet. oh well. soon soon.

[Music: Paper Tigers - Thrice]