time to shower...been trying to get my fucking computer to scan...it prints...thats all i need...and damn AIM isnt workign right either. oh well. easy fix. out.

you certainly are one petty motherfucker arent you? grow up already

tonight rocked thoroughly. the show was tight as was the company. now to bed. and look at that 4000 visits.. haha im a loser. oh well its fun. out.

[hot jam: Some Tyrant - Kate Rusby]

fuckin at the gates rips! fuck this new metal shit...its all about the swedish death metal...could fuck slipknot in the ass and leave them dead on their mother's door step (i dont like slipknot and am bitter that they are considered metal)

today was great....tired...night

[hot jam: nausea - At The Gates]

woooo i beat minesweeper on expert twice...its soo easy now!

What Irrational Number Are You?

You are √2 You are in good company, many other square roots are also irrational numbers. Just by being a square root you have been branded a radical. You are considered very attractive, especially by Europeans (at least on paper.) You fear that a relationship with another √2 may somehow end up complex and ultimately imaginary. In reality, only another √2 will make you whole. Your lucky number is approximately 1.41421356

Shiny Lemur Straif's Blog

well shit fuck cock suck...life is so bland and depressing...shit is tough. im dealing. but man its some shit. everything was fine...now its just kinda unwinding... i can barely handle my life right now, how could i handle a relationship wiht anyone? i really dont know...i really couldnt manage it. i hope youre not mad/sad/ and that you understand..i wish it was easier..damn. "rememeber the only thing we need somtimes is chilly nights and warmer thighs, cos nothings like being held sometimes..""this song will become the anthem of your underground. youre two floors down getting high in the back room. if i flooded out your house do you think youd make it out. or would you burn up before the water filled your lungs? and at your funeral i will sing the requiem."

[hot jam: Hold - Saves The Day]

oh man...computers suck...so do depressed fathers...so does haveng no money...so does life...i miss my friends...

[hot jam: I Want To Save You - Something Corporate]

yeah i dunno. its just fucking whatever.

fuuucked up..daaamn i need to get some...hah wow. drunk adn horny...what a mix...sheeeit...well, yeah. heh. hmmmm...yeah im tired and confused...go daylight savings though for real. an extra hour?? man sleepin late like shit!

[Music: Invalid Litter Dept. - At the Drive-In]

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Terror - Age of Ruin]

heh well what do ya know?



Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Echoes in Stained Glass - Age of Ruin]

whats this? strike anywhere playing with the bouncing souls?? shti i remember when i hung out with the guys from strike anywhere back in the day and helped them load there equipment into a show a the UMD student union....what liek 2-3 uears ago? man how times change...and a band ive rocked out to since 7th grade, man the bouncing souls are the shit... good ol nostalgia

Fri dec 5 st andrews church
4512 college ave
college park , MD good clean fun
fairweather
darkest hour
age of ruin
stars hide fire $8
6:00 pm



fuuuuuuck yeah this show will be soooooo fuckin packed...st andrews hasnt been around for two fuckin years. it was the shit back in the day.

[Music: Echoes in Stained Glass - Age of Ruin]

youre sweatin my delivery...dont copy people so much for crhist's sake...its so fake...

[Music: The Crimson Fails Forever - Age of Ruin]

is it enough to say i miss you more than ever right now? and you just left a few hours ago...

yaaawn....today sucked ass...1130 on the SAT. which isnt that bad, but i know i could do better, at least 1200, and my parents arent making me feel any better about it. damnit. it blows. and im all alone. friday night and all alone. i was out for a while wiht old friends so that was fun. but now im just pitiful. damnit. listening to age of ruin and drinking root beer. great fun. so yeah...im off cos i have nothing else to say. except im going to bed....anyone care to join me? i could use a good person to sleep next to. thats all i ask. just be next to me....one day maybe...

[Music: Terror - Age of Ruin]

do you think maybe one night i could get a decent night's sleep? maybe once? just tonight? i go to sleep, but am never fully asleep or stay asleep. its horrible. i wake up feeling tired all the time. never, not even on weekends do i get energy. i hate it. when will i get sleep?

[Music: Jupiter - cave in]

You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.

"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility."

Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
(Indian).
The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
wood.
His sign is the crescent moon.

As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Mr. Chainsaw - The Alkaline Trio]

We're not getting younger and its getting colder. I still cant believe we still wander these streets, cloudy skies marking our way. It is merely a brisk november day in the city. Down in the bear concrete streets and school yards we stand watch as drugs are dealt, fights break out, and knives brandished. It's too cloudy for the world's own good and each mistake of the sky in concealment of the sun is welcomed. I dont know what to say about it. No one seems to care about a few poor kids quarreling in streets. Why should they care about such a small sliver of society? well they damn well should. cuz this is where i'm from. This is my life and ill be damned if someone tells me its not as real as theirs. Fuck 'em. I love my concrete wastelands. I love the cold streets in winter. I love not seeing any trees for miles. I love seeing crack dealers sell to my mother. I love my life. And who the fuck are you to say you know? you'll see your ass through all new eyes after i shove a gun up there....Dont fuck with us.

What Modest Mouse song are you? {pics}
brought to you by Quizilla

[Music: Three's a Party - Kid Dynamite]

sooo, if i live at home during college....itll be $5000 a year for UMD...maybe if i get scholarships i can manage..hopefully...if not CUA is just fine

[Music: Wrist Rocket - Kid Dynamite]

its top secret....no one will ever know...except you..yes you...you know who you are. but alas it is only you. working out. then dinner. then. more working out. then wonderment. then. think. then college shit. then. drive. then. then....

[Music: Wake Up - Rage Against the Machine]

so yeah im workin on my college essays and junx. gotta get it all together and mail it out. ill surprise you dont worry ;) and yes. ...sexy tummies...mmm....hehe ok back to work

[Music: Autobiography of a Nation - Thursday]

Take the Affliction Test Today!

tonihgt was full of mind-blowing revalations. much malt liqour..damn i was fucked up. chillin with the old kids from growing up. man i missed them. its all of us back together again. dude. i think that if we move apart, we should still keep in touch and meet up once a yaer at least. fun times could be continued. but yeah. i determined a theory of the history of life: graph of the history is a variable repeating 3D sine curve. it is amazing. there is a web of history. ill draw it. or just shwo it to you. but man does it make sense. its beautiful. and im really tiured. so im going to bed. out

[Music: Drunkship of Lanterns - The Mars Volta]

im bored...so ill work out...when i really should be doign homework...but who needs to do wokr anyway? yeah really. chill. ill just not care. come back.

ok so maad shows coming up....good thing i have a tiny bit of money still....

brand new Thursday, OCT 30
hot rod circuit $12.00
eisley

Alkaline Trio Tuesday, NOV 11
Reggie & The Full Effect $16.00
From Autumn to Ashes
No Motiv

Saves the Day Wednesday, NOV 12
Taking Back Sunday $18.50
Moneen

Thrice Thursday NOV 20
Thursday $16.00
Coheed and Cambria

and now i know where i got my icredible ability to make people cry with my bitterness...thanks steve. growing up with you was the best. its nice to be able to voice it all in such a rage. i don tknow why. better than holes in walls, windows, and my arm.

so im rather well off, and im looking to buy a house. in fact i think its the house that is on the corner of adelphi and the first right before wells pkwy. and so im looking around and i go to the basement and i get these realy weird vibes. so theres a bunk bed pushed against these two doors taht just wont open. i dont bother and i assume i take the house. after a while i am still getting creeped out by the doors and the odd stains at the foot of the door. so i give up and put the house up for sale. rather quickly, a family comes to see it. they want to know whats behind the two doors.i tell them i dont know and that i have never been able to open them. right as i said that, the stain on teh floor grows, becomes more prominently blood red, and extends out of the room and up the stairs. out the window by the landing and out to the back seat of their car. we all run up after the path of blood. and out of the car floats the mother of the two kids and the wife of their father, with a bloody chest frmo a 8in kitchen knife. as i see her i remember how i killed her and dragged her body down the stairs in to the closet. somehow i got it into the house while it was vacant and then bought it. so it wouldnt look like i did it., then i forgot i had done it. so now there is dead person floating around in the front yard and it happens to be their mother. how can that poissibly happen??


so then i wake up...and its 11:30 adn im even more thrown off cos it should be 7am. when i usually wake up. but i was only asleep for an hour and a half. so now im all wigged out and not tired. cos i feel like i really got all my sleep for the night even though i didnt. and im freaked out. cos im stressed out as fuck. crazy. adn my chest pains are coming back. im guessing from stress. so i guess ill be up all night...hopefully not. wheres that vodka? maybe she will put me to sleep. i need it more than ever. sleeeep.....brand new.

[Music: I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light - Brand New]

and the asshole of the year award goes to yours truly

hunched over an empty bottle and blood on the broken mirror
crouched in the corner with the shelves and books hiding my broken bones
shit all i wish is to be anywhere but here
i want to deal with anything else but me

i cant think so ill stand in the cold with a guitar on my back
i only i wish i could sing myself to oblivion
maybe then no one would ever get hurt
maybe forever i could be dead and gone

yeah its true breaking up is hard to do
hardest time to look yourself in the eye and not cry
im hoping ill die fast and hard, no tears to shed if there's no pain
but tonight ill soak your hair with tears and my heart cant beat on any longer

hands down this is the worst day i can remember
you can bet "ender" is singing me to sleep tonight
i guess sleep means passed out on the floor with a bottle of beast
i can never remember to forget how much it hurts
i hurt too much. youve gotta be wrong, i cant still be living
youve gotta do the job, and dump my body down stream from here.

what the fuck? im emo...im not supposed to break hurts...or am i the rock star emo? that's the kind that to it. damn you brand new...damn you taking back sunday.....if thats the case i nevre want to be a rock star

one day you'll be a man.
"And men can do terrible things."
Yes they can

And there was never any place
For someone like me to be
Totally happy
I'm running out of clock and that
Ain't a shock
Some things never do change
Never do change

too many too windy days...."he always made fucking up look cool" floats through my head. i hope i can be forgiven.
well, on another note. today was good. woke up at 2....after getting home at 4:30....man i need to go to sleep soon. im tiiired. then chillage. hot dogs and smores. good shit...well for now...out.

i cant wait to get the fuck out of high school...the people there suck..stupid bitches..save for a few people

yeah well its my turn i guess...its been happening to me for too long. and i make myself happy. you just need to believe

december 5!!! st andrews opens again!!! its been closed for two years and no shows have been around...but now theyre gonna be bacl. i cant fuckin wait.!!!!

oh man...so fucking tired. i guess workng out will do that to you. but at 9 o'clock? heh it feels like summer when i went to bed at 10 every night cos working in the fields in beltsville all day tired me out. btu yea. today was a good day. a beautiful mind is an awwwesome movie. really really good. tugs at the heart strings. heh. the jig is up. the how is not. i haev that going for me. and yeah . SAT sucks ass. buuut in the middle of writing this....or after i woke up from my litle nap when i started writing this, my plans were all but obsoloete. beat me to it didnt ya ;) heheh i dont mind though. not ooooone bit. heheh tonight rooooocked. rocked oi tell you! rocked....hehe..good night love.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

what is it? 2 days away feels like a lifetime right now

so tonight was fuckin awesome. saw justine play at open mic night. then i had to follow her with my mediocre vocals. but i did well. thats wgat i was told :) it was fun. i had my eyes closed the whole time though. sooo nervous. but next week. i wont be. more songs. more than one. saw annie!!! havent chilled with her in sooo long. galina was there too. cool cool. and danny and lucy showed up. rockin gang we got going.
so....i suck. but i rock. oi. confusing. i guess not so much now. oi....so yeah. today rocked. tomorrow will to. and the rest of the week. as long as you dont get sick. for now. sleep. out.

[music: taking back sunday - there's no I in team]

its been determined. i know what to do. this weekend rocked. more than any other weekend in the near past. man. yummily ;)

you never knew, well i never told you, every thing i know about breaking hearts i learned from you its true. i never did it with the style and grace you have. ive made lots of plans, based on these mistakes.

taking back sunday

i fuckin love guitar!! music rocks my fucking world. and people with really awesoem voices do to. and life rocks still. look at that. its great. i got songs coming out my ass. figuratively. i have two or three more i need to hammer out and then put on the site. ill have a cd soon enough. oh man. rock. im raising my goblet of rock!!

man life rocks!!!! i dont know where to begin....everything just fuckign rocks.

so simple

its been far too long since i really saw the stars
and its been way too long since ive stood laughing under the dim street lamps
4am is the best time to walk, i can be alone with me
its quiet and dark and nothing can touch me

its so simple, id pick the brightest star in the sky and name it for you
and id pick the most beaitiful star and hand it to the most beautiful girl
so ill be waiting here searching for your star, watching my breath float into the night
and when i find you, you will have your very own star. ill be your star. can i be your strar?

" Well I got sour news for you, jack. It ain't that easy.
For instance, are you willing to make the commitment to wakin' up
at the crack a' noon, for deep-knee rock squats!?
Seven or eight at a time!? In a row?
How 'bout are you willing to make the commitment
to rock-hard tasty abs washer-board style?
Glistening in the sun. How 'bout are you willin' to make the commitment,
wakin' up, goin' okay, it's gig time, what t-shirt am I gonna wear?
Can't decide: Can't decide: Brain aneurysm!
We've been through so much bullshit just to be here tonight
to rock your fuckin' socks off.

tenacious d

With karate I'll kick your ass
Here to Tiennamen Square.
Oh yeah, muthafucka,
I'm 'onna kick your fuckin' derriere.
You broke the rules,
Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair,
You muthafucka.
You muthafucka.

Kyle betrayed me
And then he lied tried to hide
And I died deep inside
And you know the reason why.

I'm 'onna kick your ass
From here to right over there.
Oh yeah muthafucka,
I'm 'onna kick your fuckin' derriere.
You broke the rules,
Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair,
You muthafucka.
You muthafucka.

[music: karate - tenacious d]

hm that last thing was angry. meh. yeeah so today was pretty good. its academic lost 4 out 5 matches but important chilling was allowed. then chillgin with robert and stuffs. saw kelly. shes awesome as usual. thheeen homecoming. go me actually going to a "real" high school event....


ok so i wrote that last night when i got home at 5:30am complelty drunk off my ass. i dont know what it had to do wiht anything. either way yesterday rocked. im tired. and playign guitar. and yeeah. im confused. risky.

shes a bitch in general. youre a bitch in general. fuck off. dont say shit to me. i could care fucking less about your life. it sucks too much anyway. youre a horrible person and i wouldnt care if i never saw you again. itd make me a lot happier. then i wouldnt have to be annoyed everytime i see you or speak to you. everything you do is fake and you know it. i wish everyone else did too. i wish they knew that you are such an awful person inside. under all the facades you wear to make yourself seem better. so you feel better about yourself. dont ever talk to me again. there are so many games you play to get friends because you have none. and even then you fail. fuck off and drive into the ocean. any way so youre out of my life. dont judge anything you see until you have some remote shred of intelligence. when you know something, then judge all you like. but until then, dont even bother looking at me fucker. run from all your problems like you always do. read this and cry.

"raise the goblet of rock!"

hands down i have the best friends in the world. you guys rock!!! thanks to everyone who came out and cheered us on. :) it meant a lot to me to see you guys there. and to see all you guys i havent seen or hung out wiht in forever. man. tonight makes me want to be a rock star so bad. sitting at the drums in front of the whole auditorium, yeah i know it was an auditorium, but it was fucking awesome. all those people. watching us!! i mean daaaamn. it got me all excited. im gonna get a band and we're going to fucking make it. cant rush it yet. most bands out there these days are in their mid to late 20s. so i got time. i love my friends so much. and i fucking love music. tonight was great. after the show, kathryn, justine, roger, marianne, teresa, nancy, lucy, peter, and i went to wendy's, the proceeded to smuggle food into "school of rock." such an awesome fucking movie. it pumped me up even more. so now im all exctied. and fuck if im going to sleep. haha. tonight was so much fun. broke a drum stick the first song. still used it. signed it and gave it to marianne. sheeeit. excitement. gotta make it big one day. i cant fucking wait. wooooo!! :)
i love my life, i love my friends. out.

[music: juliana theory - this is your life]

hot and spicy, kinda like love and your ex

apple cinnamon cheerios, hot salsa and chips, something is reeally wrong wiht my appetite. well i guess not since im eating a lot. but either way fooood rocks. so yes. i didnt feel like staying for the crappy pep rally at school. so i left. and now i am here. eating. waiting for the show tonight which will be rocking muchly. eeeveryone is coming :) yeah so steven stavely rocks my world haha. i was playing a time out of line song on drums at the sound check, and he knew exactly what it was. he is sooo awesome hahaha. yeha im a dork. but when someone knows your music its beautiful. hm so yeah. time to clean my room some more. out.

love is for suckers (who's the sucker now?)

warm and fuzzy and hearing loss...sleeping in again. i always could make fucking up look good.
i could sit and wait all day only for your call. and i cant see any other girl anytime im with you.
next time it rains you'll get your kiss. next time a movie plays you know we'll be there,
hand in hand underneath the blanket. and ill rub my thumb along your fingers, just for you,
so you know im still there. i never thought a brush of the knees ever meant so much.
i play the hugs off like they dont start my heart running a marathon,
cos im hoping you wont feel my heart beating through my chest.
and im hoping one day you'll know what that feels like to feel my heart beating through my shirt
i hope one day youll feel my lips touch your cheek. feel my soft nothings in your ear.
i hope one day youll feel my warmth on a cold winter night. cloudy and calm.
i hope one day you know my heart beats for someone that is no else but you.

the most conceited thing you'll ever hear me say

man i really bitter still. stupid superlatves at school. i shouldnt be so concerned with them i know. i should be in the most talented or most likely to be famous. i dont mean to sound conceited or super egotistical but, i really deserve to be there. hands down i am the best guitar player in the school. probably best bass player too. i may not be the best song writer, but i can play damn well. and the people that were on the list, minus daniel, dont really compare. see daniel is a frickin awesome artist, we worked on my music video together. he is awesome. but everyone else is on the yearbook committee. they just put them on there. i know them, and they dont have any real talents. one of the things i hate is not receiving recognition for things i accomplish or do. or someone else tries to take the spot light who doesnt deserve it. i dont even have to be involved just in general its awful. i hate being around ignorant people who are just in it for their own gain. and they fail to see the people who truly should be recognized. in short, people suck.
yeah im makign too big a deal out of this. but ive gone too long with people thinking they are better than me at something and bragging about it to me. and i know i am better. hm ill stop bitching cos im sure its really annoying. oh well. people should die. out.

[music: coheed and cambria - elf power with vox]

oi...so yes today was another day, who would have thought? well yeah. i dunno. it was good. frisbee and hoody trading...ducking and running ;) band practice chillage at college perk with danny, issac, and justine...and katie for a little. alwasy much fun. i like zendo. great game. so yeah, satruday its academic tournament, then homecoming. and i have nooo idea what to wear. cos if my date wears something all nice and i dont!!! ahhh im such a girl hahaha. yeeah. so im tired. time to play hearts for a bit then sleep late. out.

[music: get up kids - better half]