this house is full of ears, but i can't talk to anyone. they've heard this one a thousand times. most exciting thing i do, hang half way out a third floor window, maybe throw lit cigarettes down. and maybe i'll catch fire. something warm to hold me, something pure to burn away the darkness that hides inside my mind. all that evil shit's not hard to find. i guess i only claim to be nice. this house is full of eyes, but i can't look at anyone. they've seen this face a thousand times. most relaxing thing i do, hang half way out a third floor window, and look at rocks if i fall out. and maybe i'll fall hard. something tough to break me, something sharp to rip into my insides and bleed out all that pain. sorry i don't even know your name. i guess for me it's easy this way. maybe i'll catch fire. something warm to hold me, something pure to burn away the darkness that hides inside my mind. all that evil shit's not hard to find. i guess i only claim to be nice.

[soundtrack to the post: Maybe I'll Catch Fire - The Alkaline Trio]

back from atlanta...it was fun. too much driving. but fun. drove by the place i toured down to atlanta to play at over the summer. that was cool. now im tired as balls. sleeep.

[soundtrack to the post: Growing up (Falling Down) - Living End]

going to atlanta...be back...i think sunday night or something. out.

man i really wanted to go to prom...its the pivotal high school moment, and whereas it may seem lame, ive wanted/planned to go all through high school....and now i may not even get to go. or at least i dont want to pay $65 for an hour of crap. if its a few hours of crap then that's fine.

[soundtrack to the post: Self Revolution - Killswitch Engage]

man i hate the way people are. and i hate the way i am. fuck. its time to change something.

"I want another banjo. Sure, I own two banjos already, but the world is a sad place these days and I think extra precautions are needed." John Kavanagh

im getting tired of journals...dont know why..they just seem to much work to maintain. i know what im thinking. if you want to know. just ask. so, i guess there will be very few posts in here. so you shoould probabyl stop checking if you do. cos there will be nothing to read. i lead a very boring life.

thanks for a great birthday everyone wished me a happy birthday. and everyone who rocks. im to bed cos im tired. good birthday. finally 18. its nice.

[soundtrack to the post: Mr. Chainsaw - The Alkaline Trio]

go being 18 :)

haha this site rocks...check the URL

this one is nice too

got a scholarship for $4500/yr every year from UMD. excited....but now i dont know what im going to do....i thought i was going to catholic. oh, and my feelings of crappyness earlier disappeared after a nap, and a rediscovery of my deep love for music/bass/playing in a band. then dinner was nice, and poker was fun. then scholarship letter. weird day. went to work. left early cos i didnt really feel well. eh. tired. time for bed now.

[soundtrack to the post: Bullet in the Head - Rage Against the Machine]

why do i feel so worthless and unaccomplished...and just plain shitty. im not good enough to do anything with my life. fuck.

dum dum de dum im the only one awake....me and chrisgurl30 whoever that is. theyre on my buddy list....but i forgot who it is. hah oh well. hope you slept well babe. now time to get the bling bling as kat put it. maybe ill leave early cos i dont feel so well. like after lunch or something. by then i'll have worked 5 hours already so it'll only be 3 hours of sick leave. i have 15. 12 of annual leave. so i'll use some of that to get more bling.

sleeeeeeep cops im tired as baaaalls...and work tomorrow. at least ill have money again.

[soundtrack to the post: Giving In - Adema]

today was my first day driving by myself...it was awwwwesome. its very chill. and i can get where i need to go when i need to. its fuuun. mmm. time for shower then sleep. cos i gotta worrrk tomorrow. what fun. though i do get money.

[soundtrack to the post: Bad Medicine - Bon Jovi]

goddamnit im so fucking pissed! today just hasnt been my day. the fucking essay i wrote for black history month didnt win. not because it was a bad essay, but because it didnt mention anyhitng about jesus fucking christ or religion. thats bullshit. i mean granted it is her essay and she chooses who wins, there was nothing in the guidelines about religion. i guess there was a right answer. motherfucker. you couldnt base the decision on other ideas besides your own could you? ignorant fuck. people so caught up in their religion that they cant see past that are just sickening. im pissed because i lost, yes. but more so because i should have won...my ideas arent valid enough? fuck it. i hate this bullshit. fucking biased slut.