"yeah umm happy being born day and stuff"

finally 17. bears and all. ;) haha they were outside my door when i woek up. i dont know hoooow they got there. soo great. Trisha and Champ. :) good times. jsut woke up. gotta eat. hungry. out.

National Aquarium in Baltimore - About Us damn. so expensive. although i want to go sooo bad. lets see. i have $90 now. tomorrow ill have $95 or so
so $75 if we go to the aquarium...+ $60 from my parents...+ any birthday bling. sooo total $135 + $20 ± $5-15....hmmm thatd better be enough. if not, well bonnie clyde or bunny and bear. whichever. out to clean more. band practice. and then ida. out.

quiz in 4th(now) chilling. got my phone back from that fuckin bitch sub who took it yesterday. its all good i got it back. now, i sit. im tired. i gotta clean some today. real quick before band practice and dinner. ill be real tired tonight. but not was tired as ida. having a job and all. i really shooould get one of those but i really doubt i will. just because ive been saying that for a long time. oh well. sleep. bathroom. editing blogger. time to do "work." out.

yeeeeeah today rocked. stone ;) cept not really. but ya know. fuck work. ill do it tomorrow morning. for now i play guitar. night. wonderful wonderful night.

just finished it....surprise surprise ;) UCONN won the womens championship. go them. im tired as shit. going to bed. today was good. very tiring though. need to rest. time to go to bed early...is 11 early now?? well i suppose it is for me. i need to do chem work. im falling behind again. even the slightest lack of drive will out me back. i need to do good. i need to rest. too much. oh man ocean city is going to rock sooo hard. first romantic getaway. walks on the beaches. watching the sunrise over the ocean. sleeping next to her, waking up next to her. so wonderful. now im off to bed to dream about it. i need to save. ok im out. night.

yup yup time to fool around wiht my blogger for an hour and a half in computer science. yeah i need to get it so its "legible" haha even though its typed. some people cant read it very well. im not quite sure why cos i can see it just fine. but i know what i write so i dont necessarly need to read it now do i? so now im goonna make it a little less "noisy" so its not as confusing, or something. maybe a better backround picture....or semi faded parts on the backgrounds might work. any ideas?

these days have been great. chillin about. ill be 17 in 6 days. i cant wait. i need to get out of this 16 yr old stereotype everyone seems to have. ah well. itll be great. rated r movies here i come!!! as if i couldnt ever get in any other time ;) saw bringin down the house the other day. haha great movie. "the cool points are out the window, and im all caught up in the game." no idea waht that means haha. steve martin is soo great. yeah soo going to ocean city. i cant wait. i really cant. so excited. haha yeah i know its ocean city. but the circumstances are what's making it so wonderful. hmm i have a lot of ap chem work to do. i should be doing it buut ya know ill be eating and chillin. probably gonna do some things later on. eat some more. go out. chill. for now im off to have breakfast and do some work. out.

i dont knwo why but i just got an incredible feeling of happiness, peace, and bliss...all in one. its amazing. good music. good weather. my life feels close to perfect. its soooo good. i dont know jsut thought id share that :)

man i havent posted in a long time. well, long enough. ive been busy wiht, well things. time to catch up. things have been soo wonderufl these days. a little bumpy that one day, but now all good. i love ida so much. its crazy awesome. :) ive been chillin with her like every day almost. best days ever. ive been working out too. good times. gettin buff and chillin in the hot tubs. bionic man will most likely tour for a mont over the summer to california and back. good times. im really tired. but i have lots of work. not due til monday. but i wont do it til sunday either way. oh well. im out to shower and find some food.

you're emo!


How can I label you?
brought to you by Quizilla

sleepless nights with hundreds of contradictory dreams. every possible scenario. off to school. what a wonderful day this looks like

i dont know what to do...im scared. i wish i knew too. im so scared right now. helpless

what's the difference between a prostitute and guitar player?
a prostitute has a better sense of rhythm.

what's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a drummer?
you have to plug one in before it sucks

shadows of raindrops shone on the creased synthetic leather as i stared at the gnarled trees through the closed sunroof, pondering my existence like the huge weirdo dork i am.

I scored a 77% on the "How PG County are you?" Quizie! What about you?

…and did i mention that there are still those days
where i can hardly lift my head up from the pillow
or looking out the window of the plane
rooting for disaster
sometimes i just run out of reasons
but the clock keeps ticking and the minutes keep coming
and all i can do is rise to slaughter the hours
let the air out of these days
killing time staring into corners or at strands of her hair
waiting for the call that tells me where to next
wishing i could trade these stupid words
for hollow point shells
before every move that I make equals check-mate
did i just say her?
this song is not for her
no matter what i’ve said or longed for
or that her name still moves along these walls
lives in this pen
(i’ve made promises)
this song is for Buk, for ‘Trane, for Wes, and for Marty
who keep their barrels oiled and ready
the few that I would trade ten days to spend one hour with
rare like a ruby at the bottom of the sea
beautiful like the sparrow in the kittens jaw


oh man gotta love the BANE. the lyrics are so good. and the music is 5 times better. they are my idols. this

i give up..i cant make the link to my comments on in a table...oh well... i guess ill see tomorrow. maybe then i can fix it. as for now im tired. and in love. and sleepy. and good night all.

You're Poland!

People tend to think you're stupid and you were probably voted
Least Likely to Succeed by your high school class.  These people are mostly
stupid themselves, and are just judging their opinion of you on your ability
to defend yourself, which is admittedly pretty poor.  But there's lots
more to life than defending yourself from being picked on and pulled apart!
 There's labor unions to join and holiness to produce!  You'll survive
yet!
Take
the Country Quiz at the href="http://bluepyramid.org">Blue Pyramid

trevor is a Rhubarb-Eating Stealth Monkey ...with a Battle Rating of 5.3 To see if your Food-Eating Battle Monkey can defeat trevor, enter your name:

i love her so much. gaah. all smiles. today was fun. well it started out sucky cos i was reeeal tired. then school was bleh. but after 1st pd and before 2nd was awesome :) lunch rocked too :) then 3 hooours. aiiie. haha. then after school nap time. good sleeping though i stole the covers (sorry babe). it made me happy. ida makes me so happy. no words. greatness. :) too tired and happy to write much. except about how soft her kisses her, how meaningful the embraces are, how lovely it is to gaze into her eyes. she is so great so wonderful. spectacular. i love her so much. im out. night.

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

man today just rocked. im sooo happy. haha i read ida's blogger, i mean blurty ;) and then i get lazy and dont feel like talkign about my day cos i just read it. haha. im sooo lazy. sooooo if you want to see what i did today, read ida's janx. on another note. i love that girl so much. its the most wonderful feeling in the world to be snuggled up to the person you love, half sleeping, whispering things into their ears. then being pressed against them and their skin burning against yours. its amazing. i always have so much fun with her. im glad i finally got all this out. i just needed the right time. "things to say, not here. timing timing timing." ok well im exhaaaaausted. out. night

oh man such a good song. doesnt reflect my mood one bit. cos im sooo happy right now. :)

BRAND NEW


Seventy Times Seven

Back in school they never taught us
what we needed to know
Like how to deal with despair
or someone breakin your heart
For twelve years I've held it all together
but a night like this is beggin to pull me apart
I played it quiet left you deep in conversation
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen
I remember I kept thinking
that I know you never would
And now I know I want to kill you
like only a best friend could

Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...

As if it happening wasn't enough
I got to go and write a song
just to remind myself how bad it sucked
Ignore the sun, covers over my head
Wrote a message on my pillow that says
"Jesse, stay asleep in bed"
Don't apologize (I hope you choke and die!)
Search your cell for something which to hang yourself
They say you need to pray
if you want to go to heaven
But they don't tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to Hell!

Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
Everyone's caught on to
(and I can't let you let me down again)
everything you do
Everyone's caught on to...
(and I can't let you let me down again)

So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there's ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield

Is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say "best friends" means friends forever

Is that what you call a getaway?!!
Tell me what you got away with!!
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish!!
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids!!
Have another drink and drive yourself home!!
I hope there's ice on all the roads!!
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
then when your head goes through the windshield!!

(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...
(I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to everything you do
(and I can't let you let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to...

9 - 12 15 21 5 - 25 15 20 think alphabet ;)

today rocked so hard. minus being soo scared and worried. but its all good. i fiiinally said it. i had been subtly and vaguely hinting at it for so long. and i fiiiinally got up the nerve. it felt so good to tell her. and to here it back? oh man im so happy right now its unexplainable. she cried. out of happy. ive never personally seen anyone do that or caused it. i just melted. aaaaaie so excited and weeee. haha. FUTON!! hehe fun. its been soo long since ive wanted to say it. so many oppurtunities. best night ever. no competition.

9 - 12 15 21 5 - 25 15 20

letters to you

dude today was sooo much fun. ida is spectacular. everything she does makes me smile. well today we went to dinner. i ate a lot which is weird cos i usually dont eat a lot at one time. good food though. thhen we went "shopping." i did buy some things. boxers and wife beaters. then yeah bonnie and clyde all the way baby! $100 ;) we were gonna go see a movie but decided to dye our hair. there will be a lot of surprised peoples tomorrow. ida's looks quite nice. mine however isnt turning out the best. i got a second "coat" on now, so hopefully itll work. itd better. or i'll wear a hat all day. maybe with gel it will look wet and darker. hm. oh well. tomorrow will be fun too. tomorrow is coffee house auditions at roosevelt. thirty-7 is gonna play bulls on parade. maybe we'll get in this year if the drums are "turned down." then hot tubbing and working out in my newly acquired gym-ish shorts. then sleep. and now sleep. after i was this dye out. im exhausted. fun times today. night. out.

[Music: Taking Back Sunday - Tell All Your Friends]

tired

weeeell time to not do work that i should be doing. got a lab report due tomorrow and im about 3/4 of the way done. im close. ill finish tonight. hopefully. we shall see. ive been busy lately hanging out with ida is so much fun. every day with her is something special. and she never ceases to amaze me. always being so wonderful. friday was great. and got lots better at 10. we went back to ida's and watched movies in soft clothes and cuddled on the couch, exhausted. night of the living dead, not another teen movie, jeepers creepers, and i think some random things here and there. bliss. it really is. holding her in my arms makes me feel needed, so warm and tingly. soo i left at about 4am, another late night. then saturday went to noodles for lunch. their lo mein is soo good. their buttered noodles and parmesan are good too. i almost won at, shit, the name escapes me, penny table hockey. yeah im dumb haha. then we went thrift store shopping. i got a cordless phone that doenst work cos i need a 9v adapter with a (-)--(o)--(+) connector for it. it was only 3 bucks too. good deal. i really want a cordless phone. and $5 aint too bad. theeeen we went camping. it was fun despite the cold and scared part of it haha. big fires, climbing trees, setting up tents in the dark. sleeping bags. then today i wore shorts!!! sooo nice outside today. and ida bought me ankle socks that ive been needing. thanks so much. i need them to wear shorts cos hell no im not gonna wear tube socks with shorts, im not that much of a fashion faux paux. haha. well maybe i am but ooh well. then FUTON!!! hehe. then rest and dinner and "blazing saddles." it was an alrioght movie. some pretty funny parts. now back to work. good night all. out.

[Music: Isis-Oceanic]

yesterday was much fun. today was tiring. school is almost over. in 4th, good ol computer science. finished my web page cheesy thing we have to do. Its alright. not too much customization yet. jsut cos im lazy. i bet the first thing i'll do when i get home is ill edit it and be online until like 9:30 tonight. where ill be leaving, and not coming back for a whiles. ;) right now i really have to pee. im sure everyone needed to know that buuut ya know. deal. boored. need to edit. but im lazy. la dee da. i gotta figure out now to make pictures for backgrounds myself. we shall see what happens with my random attempts at that. hopefully ill make it work somehow. aand im rambling. i think ill be off and screw around with settings. out.

yeah....not sleeping tonight

im at a loss of what to do. theres nothing i can do. ill get a job. help that way if i can...
ive never been more pissed off at someone who hasnt done anything to me, but to someone i care more than anything about, to someone i'd do anything for. i dont know how that works but im sad and fucking pissed. die motherfucker. the world doesnt need assfucks like you. shit. i need to sleep. get rid of all this....feel better. out.

aaaaaaah!!!! i havent been so happy in such a very long time, many moons. she's more than i could ever possibly imagine. superbly wonderful. today was soo much fun. went to the dentists with ida, then played in the park a bunch..."hah " theeen we went swimming until 8. hot tubs are so much fun. especially with an ida in a bikini (that she's sooo cute in). i just get flustered so much. today was a very good day. snail mail is the coolest. hehe. i keep reading it "over, and over, and over, again" and it makes me soooo happy. unbelievably happy. she's so special. there are so many thoughts flyign through my head. all concering that crazy girl. all wonderful thoughts. jeez. im so excited and hyper and bouncy and happy. i cant wait until 10:13 tomorrow night. well im out.

{Music: Good Charolette - the young and the hopeless} making that cd ;)

is what ida makes me
woo! yeah yeah im a dork i know

does anyone out there want to start a pop-punk band? i really want to. but i can't seem to find any musicians. if anyone knows anyone or anythign like that.


{Music: Home Grown - Kiss Me, Diss Me} whoa...me? using capitals?? whats goin on?? fuck the shift key

today was fun. went to the blair witch house. it was scary outside. inside it was still creepy just not as scary. it was cool though. ida is the best . so much fun hanging out with her. so great. today i got the links to a whole bunch of smilie icons so i can put them in my blogger. only problem is i have to cut and paste the code/link everytime i want a picture. its better than what i had before. so it works. im tired. time for a shower. out. time to sweat livejjournals..

{Music: Fairweather - Alaska}

go go go!!! oh. you need a place to go dont you. go here. make sure you gots time. out.

things to say, not here, timing timing timing

oh man she is so wonderful. i waited all day for these magic four hours. im speechless i really am. its just soo great. this is by far one of the best things to happen to me. i am so the luckiest guy out there. especially when everyone out there likes her, but she likes me. laying on the couch, cuddling, and her beautiful eyes. they just make me feel so warm and comfortable. its such a great feeling. i never want to leave her arms. just laying there is bliss. im so overwhelmed by all this happiness. :) smiles and smiles. she's so special. i am out of words for the night. tonight was lots of fun. of course every night is fun with her. i think i fell asleep next to/on her. that always makes me feel good. just to wake up and be in her arms. and aaaaaah. im happy. what else can i say. i need to get up in four hours. good night. out.

Sat 8 chrome
6945 reed st.
bethesda , MD the goons
affront
bionic man plus one more tba
$7
3:00 pm
remember this is a matinee show. the venue is a couple blocks away from the bethesda metro stop. go here for directions from hyattsville.

..............................................................dots...............................time to write. cant. happy. thoughts racing through my mind. time? right? whispers..."captivating beauty" excited. best times. most real. off to finish blogging. maybe ill read some chem work. oh well. to recap my day........went to school, eh, alright. after school is where the fun began. went shopping with ida to get her sweatpants that she looks soo great in. i dont know but that pony tail and those sweatpants man they just drive me crazy happy. theeen we went to rent some movies....we were gonna get fight club and the ring...buuut yeah hollywood is dumb and didnt have any of the ring left. adn fight club was fucking rated R so apparently i cant rent it unless im 18 or some shit. i was pissed. i rented a lot from there but nooooo ass holes gotta go and fix things that arent broken. "if it aint broken, fix it til it is." hmpf. soo ida bought the blair witch for like $2.09...dont know why it was so cheap but whatever good deal. so we watched that. fun times watching it. im gonna win...some day. i hope. haha. then she left. it seemed like the day went by so fast. it was all filled with great. even though it was only like 3 and a half hours. it seemed so much shorter. buuut yeah. so i hope tomorrow i will get to see her after work. and i might practice tomorrow with bionic man. so we shall see. for now. well yeah for now i am out. bionic man show got moved from saturday night in DC to sat afternoon(3:00) in bethesda. so yeah. do what you will with that info. out.

hooray for cracks...illegal? pssh

well today i fiiiiinally finished my new blogger set up. well not totally finished. but it functions and everything is respectively in it's right place and appears correctly. took me forever. im tired. i got beat at wrestling agaain. one of these days ill win. juuust you wait and see ;) not much to write. im really really tired. today was chill. practiced with bionic man for a bit. came home, showered, chilled, adn worked on blogger. nooow time to chill adn sleep soon. im out.

"I Remember You"

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

We've had our share of hard times
But that's the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you (ataris cover of a skid row song)

You're nothing, really. But you're nice.

You're nothing, really. But you're nice.


What type of music are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

SAVES THE DAY

"Do You Know What I Love The Most?"

Do you know what I love the most?
Even suburbs would be o.k.
With you between my sheets
And the breeze in the window
'Cause we will go there and ignore all our neighbors
I think I'll bring you breakfast and play Johnny Cash on the stereo
I'll sit in the lazy chair all day remembering the things you do
So when you come home
I'll jump up to kiss you and it will knock you back
You'll fall over our TV set
I'll pick you up and dust you off
Oh, Baby let's give it a go
I'll kiss your thighs to make you feel all right
And then I'll get closer to taste a little sweat
Oh I think I'm rearing to go
You're gonna get knocked out and tied up in my trunk
In ten years we'll go to Ohio and steal Cadillac's for a living.

listenin to andrew and nick on the radio in maine

hmmm :/

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

today turned out a good day. tomorrow will hopefully be fun too :) 3 months...today i guess it is now. feels longer. cant really figure out why. still wonderful. i had a nice semi-nap/meditation/think time i had today. it was weird. got some things figured out i needed to. good good. now im eatin some dinner (cake and pizza ;) ). time for bed.

BRAND NEW


Sudden Death In Carolina


Last night I swallowed liquor and a lighter and this morning I threw up fire.
But it's nothing new.
I've been piecing it together and it's got something to do
With every look thrown like a knife across a crowded room.
Every slow and quiet car ride I spent drinking in the backseat.
Every stupid melody to every stupid song.
And every stupid word that ever body's hanging on.
What difference does this difference in age make?
I know how it ends... she'll kill me quick.
So call 911. I'm already dead but someone should be caught and held responsible for this bloody mess.
Last night I fell asleep next to a liar and I woke up with a shiner.
And it's all that I remember from a night spent lying on my back with a view of a stone white ceiling and the back of your head.
This dark and quiet bed felt like the middle of nowhere.
We beat each other up just like we always do.
When I'm talking to myself I'd always rather be talking to you.
What difference does this difference in age make?
I know how it ends... she'll kill me quick.
Call 911. I'm already dead but someone should be caught and held responsible for this bloody mess.
Call homicide. Take the case to court.
Her lips taste like a loaded gun and I'm her number one chalk outline on the floor.
They hung her from the bridge on Monday.
The gathering turned into a mob out on the lawn.
The dropped her body in the river.
And school and work returned to normal before long...

times are a changin


i was despairing, cos it didnt seem like my life would be going anywhere after high school. well ive been looking at schools, and lots of them of music recording and music industry majors/areas of study. that was awesome. cos if i dont become a rock star, which ill be very sad if i dont, i can go into the industry...produce, record, master, edit, executive. itd be the life. i absolutely have to do something with music or i might as well be dead. if not i'll fall back on a computer major. im finding a new passion in computer science. it's so much fun. and im good at it. so maybe ill go into something liek that. just every place i look is all 20,000 a year or more. fuck that. oh well. im happy today. i got to see ida after she finished working...and after i finished sitting at home playing guitar. she is so amazing, how her smile makes everything so much better. times now are interesting. changing. making me change. making me need to be. its good. its great.

---

bionic man show march 8
with affront, the goons, and swing knife swing
apparently at the majestic...DC somewhere

---

it would mean a lot to me if anyone who reads this comes. probably cos mostly my friends read it. i dont think many people know really how much it means to me that they come to see me at shows. it makes me feel so good. and i love playing shows, especially when people i care about are there. it gets me high. yeeeah high on life, except high on rock. its a huge rush playing shows. playign well and rocking the fuck out. its wonderful. so all you guys. come if you can. its prolly cheap. or free. just cos shows i play usually are. ive only got paid for a show maybe 3 times in my whole musical career. since 1998/1999 or so. aside from the jazz quartet i was in which fucking rocked. i made so much money. couple hundred. i love playing jazz. great fun. all chill and 98% improv. i need not despair so much. time to write. and wait. out.

apart

magic will be created when an unconventional person comes to stay
fortune cookie i got....

aaaah my legs hurt soo much...damn growing pains. hmpf. today sucked at first. got kinda better. chilled with the rob for a bit. then came home and ate chinese food and worked on my web page for computer science. played guitar. as oosooal;) layed down for a bit to get my leg to stop being bitchy. now im bored and taking all the newspaper off my ceiling...fun times. its weird. i havent seen my ceiling in 2 and a half years. well im off to finish that. out.

cough..scratchy..cough

damn. i sang myself out today. my voice is no longer cooperating and no longer getting up to those higher ranges. its weird. when i tried to swing "sweet," the w sound cut out in my voice...jsut silence until the "eet" part. it sucks. cos its all scratchy and kinda rough sounding. i dont if its the good rough or bad rough. but i figure ill rest it since ive bee singing all day and i dont want to mess up my precious good vocal chords . mainly i dont want to get frustrated with it and lose the drive. its turning out to be a good song. still needs a concrete vocal part. and the lyrics are ever-changing with the days. i will have it soon. closer and closer. i hope its well received. hmm im tired. i should nap. or not. i should go to bed at 11ish tonight. and ill try to make a crazy bear do the same. ;) i need to read some chem chapters too. hmm. oooh well.

i really need to stop keeping her up so late. i feel bad. and i need to not go to bed at 4:30 in the morning. yesterday was fun. i actually did something. i went swimming with ida and hannah and delores. it was fun. excercise. the pool is always fun. ida is always fun. then dinner was fun too. good food. great people to eat dinner with. minus the flying ketchup and soda top lids ;) haha. then there was hangin out. drivin around, wandering around sports authority acquiring outfits. then more chillage. driving around always used to be boring until now. then i watched tv and movies at ida's...until like 3:30. sooo late. so tired. but i have to go sometime. so i came home. i made it home without getting mugged or run over. so thats a plus. so now i just woke up and its time for breakfast. have fun.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY


"Lullaby"

Woke up yesterday
with you on my mind
so afraid of running out of time
so come around again and i'll show you what i mean
And you can tell me
exactly what you need
and we can talk all night (we can talk all night)
and i will sing you lullabies (i will sing you lullabies)
not every arrow is pointed straight at your heart
sorry for the time i said too much
i was so afraid that you would fall out of touch
and we can talk all night (we could talk all night)
and i will sing you lullabies (i will sing you lullabies)
not every arrow is pointed straight at your heart
so come around again (so come around again)
and we can talk all night
so come around again, so come around again
and we can talk all night (and we can talk all night)
i will sing you
lullabies

rockin from here to infirmary - alkaline trio
....man this takes me back to late march early april last year...back when it was sunny and warm...where did it go?

well blogger is being stupid and not even showing up soooo ill just write stuff in here and post later. i havent really posted in here in a while. just little updates here and there. ive been thinking a lot lately. i mean a lot. i have nothing else to do really. just been thinkin about everything in general. mostly her. its hard not to. she's always on my mind. i care about her soo much and its just great :) ive been thinking a lot about trust too and how hard it is for me to trust anyone. there are very few people i trust. my parents arent even among them. they probably should be, but what they did to me, although it was probably for my best interest and sanity, has bent the trust i had in them. it really shouldnt have but it did. its hard for me to trust girls too. another heartbreak would not at all be good for me. it always people get bored of me and fall in love with someone else and im left broken hearted on the floor, my tears slipping under the back door.(saves the day/alkaline trio ref...hah) this time its completely different though. i trust her. im not as scared too give her my trust. it feels right. i just hope it doesnt get crushed but i cant see that coming so yeah...i dont know what the point of this post is, just my thoughts of late. everythings good. i need to be reassuring and non-scary. i dont worry anymore. thats probably the most apparent thing. at least i dont think i do. when im exhausted, things get to me easier, but they usually are nothing. and later on i think about it, and they arent. that trust has put down all my fears. its nice. i hate having things that shouldnt bother me, get to me. now that they dont, im so much more at ease. and i know it was upsetting and annoying that i felt that way. now its all gone and good.

another random bit ive been thinkin about. well i guess two things. i was raised a certain way. its part of the foundation of my being and mind that women are to be treated with the utmost respect and no less, ever. it appalls me to know that women are treated badly and with little respect. i just cant fathom why anyone would want to do that. i dont get why some men have to feel so fucking superior. misogynistic chauvenist bastards. its just bull shit. its just wholly wrong in my eyes and there's not much i can do to stop it and it makes me upset at the thought of it. maybe one day people(men) will learn...and then there's "nigger". i was raised as that was as bad a word as "fuck"; worse in most cases. where as i use "fuck" countless times a day, i have only used that word once in my entire life. its such a derogatory word and is oddly used so many times these days. this also appalls me. its just one of those things that shouldnt be said. just one of those morally wrong things. i dont know. there a lot of things about society that i dont like and dont approve of there isnt time or space to put in here. so talk to me about it if you feel like it...

on happier notes, ive been hanging with robert and ida mostly these days. theyre the best friends, and girlfriend :) i could ever ask for. things are good. time for me to go off and do nothing. pro-bably guitar. at least until 10. oh, and fuck yeah with the no school tomorrow and friday. :) out.

such a good song...

Jude Law And A Semester Abroad

Whatever poison is in this bottle will leave me broken sore and stiff.
But it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at.
He owes me one last wish.
So here's a present to let you know I still exist.
I hope the next boy that you kiss has something terribly contagious on his lips.

But I got a plan. Drink (drift) for forty days and forty nights.
A sip for every second-hand tick.
And for every time you fed me the line,
“you mean so much to me...”. I'm without you.

Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say.
Tell the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say.

And even if her plane crashed tonight she'll find some way to disappoint me,
by not burning in the wreckage, or drowning at the bottom of the sea.
“Jess, I still taste you, thus reserve my right to hate you.”
And all this empty space that you create does nothing for my flawless sense of style.
It's 8:45. The weather is getting better by the hour.
I hope it rains there all the time.
And if you ever said you miss me then don't say you never lied.
I'm without you.

Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say.
Tell the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say

Who would do anything you say.

Never gonna get it right
Your never gonna get it(x15)

Okay, no more songs about you. After this one I'm done. You're gone. You're never gonna get it right.

So tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say.
tell the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say

yesterday went wonderfully as planned. i got everything cooked and done at the same time, and didnt burn the sauce, although i almost did. haha meh. she liked it :) it made me happy. she got me a red sweater and some silk boxers. man such greatness. classic mr beans that i havent seen in sooo long. good times. first time ive done anything special for someone special on valentine's day. now to wait around until 5. i have no life. hah.

well well well, what have we over there? dont throw up kelly

today was aaaaawesome. big day, at least a big day for me. got my eyebrow pierced this morning. didnt hurt nearly as much as i thought it would. just sore. and puffy :( itll be all gravy soon. so that was good. then i went with ida to get her gecko and man oh man. it escaped in her room. and its tail somehow magically detacthed during its capture haha. and it was still moving, the nonattacthed tail part. gross but cool haha. so then i go on me and ida's first real date in the 2 and a half months weve been together. it was greatness. we ate food at marathon. and then shanghai knights was viewed at the local movie viewing establishment. tonight was soo much fun i cant believe it. it was all weee and yay. hehe. shes the mst wonderful girl there is, so extra specially great, and she likes me :) she really like sme :) hehe she makes me so happy i cant believe it. messing around with golf clubs and assorted pillows in target and value city is fun:) gaah she drives me crazy....."im insane with anger!!" hehe except wiht joyousness. everytime i see her i cant help but smile. sometimes i try not to smile, try to be cool ya know? but yeah. never works. i cant not smile when im around her or when i look at her. i started randomly laughing in the car with her. i never do that unless im really happy. all i did was look at her and bam!! i was smiling soo much and i was overjoyed. im tired. time for mr hole in the eyebrow to go to bed. out.

so true :)
a beautiful girl can make you dizzy. like uve been drinking jack and coke all morning. she can make you feel high. full of the single greatest commodity known to man. promise. promise of a better day. promise of a greater hope. promise of a new tomorrow. this particular aura can be found in the gate of a beatiful girl. in her smile. and in her soul. and the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like its gonna be okay.

stolen from laura's profile.

well, yeah

ooh man oh man. wonderfulness :) i went swimming yesterday with ida. it was fun. nice heated pool. i hadnt been swimming in soo long. and oh my god. she was soo good looking in that little orange bathing suit. i just couldnt believe it. i was all flustered. aaaaieee. i cant stop thinking about her. its crazy. i havent felt like this for quite a many moon. the happiness that she brings me is amazing. shes always on my mind. just sitting there pokin my head occasionally. she makes me all clumsy and silly around her. :) im out of words...just smiles and butterflies and fluttery heart. gooood night. indeed i will have sweet dreams. guess of who...;)

You are Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional!


Which awesome member of an awesome band are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

chilly nights along lonely roads. street lights that flash six times before anything drives by. the quiet is mesmorizing. you cant help but notice every sound and feel every movement. its all still.

today was good. restful. chill. saw ida :) made me happy. i always feel so great when i see her. its amazing the way she makes me feel and always makes my day. god the feeling of holding her close, or even feeling her hand is just overwhelmingly special. yeeah im a dork. whatcha gonna do about it? :) got scared. and bit :p then walked home. tired. food. out.

Wolf


What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WoODCHUCK!!!


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

Congradulations! you are a hopeless romantic...
you love to be in love- regardless of who with. You
could also be classified as a drama queen/or
maybe eevn gay, good luck wiht keeping a
girlfriend bevause youll probably scare her of
soon.


what type of boyfriend are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

to you....yes you know who....

Let me start this from the day we met.
You looked so beautiful, I never will forget.
Then you opened up your eyes, looked at me and kinda smiled.
I was scared, but still happy at the same time.

I sometimes think about how things could be
If you would've took a chance and moved out here with me.
We'd cruise along the 101 in the California sun
Sing Descendents songs and have ourselves lots of fun.
Stay out drinking really late stumble home from lower State.
Treat every day like it would be our first date.


"Alone In Santa Cruz"

Did I ever tell you that I really love you and I think about you all day? I really miss you and wish I could kiss you, but why are you so far away? Since you've been gone, I've thought over and over about you inside my head and where I went wrong. Every day, I've been thinking a lot about all of the things you'd say since I went away, .. I guess I could call you and ask you "How are you?" but I really don't have much to say... I sit all alone and I stare at the phone and I hope that you're doing ok.



little ataris lyrics binge for ya...ok im out.

aaaaaaah.....tatu is sooo good....haha i heard them today at ida's for the first time and i haaad to download their stuff...man its really really good. their voices are great...i dont know its just great...haha today was a good day....was bored for a while so i walked to ida...i love walking...not quite peace and quiet...but i get to think and the ambient noise acts as a soundtrack to the music video thats always going through my head. it was a nice walk. then i got ida's. chilled and watched tv. much fun just chillin. theeen oh man. the wrestling....no one won this time. and i stand by that strongly :p i had her pinned once....maaaybe twice not so sure...but if i didnt win then she didnt win. as it stands, its a draw :) next time ill win decisively. mwahaha....haha. yeah i got lotion allll up in my ear and allll up in my shirt. haha whats up with that. oh man. then i tried to get up too fast and hit my eye/hear on a ladder. now i have a gash above my right eye. damn it hurt. but its fine now...so no worries :) hmm then more chillage and niceage...if thats a word. oh well. fun. clean. food now. time to do the tons of work due tomorrow. oh well. happy. good music. happy. :) night. out.

stuck at home on a saturday night...bored out of my mind....spilling shit all over important things. damn. soo ill just lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling listening to music. hmm..things to do...maybe ill go for a walk or something, that might be nice. today was a good day.

oh man....coheed and cambria with hopesfalladn rocking horse winner at the ottobar on feb 25...$10...greatness

"Things I'll Never Say"

I'm tuggin' out my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezin' you too tight?



not toooo mushy riight?

hehe someone jsut came and danced for me in their pajamas and slippers...made my night :)

i dont know why im sad all of a sudden. i just seem to find everything wrong with me all at once....it sucks cos i hate myself and i just feel hopeless and overworked. sigh. oh well. im probably just tired. oh well. time to give up and stare off into space....im gonna shut up now...and not play guitar.

socks are inherently evil....think about it

success is mine.....i finally got my computer hooked up to my big stereo janx in my room...with stereo sound....before it was mono cos i had the wrong connectors...but now....glory is mine mwahaha....haha. its nice i can fill my whole room with great sounds :) anyway good times.

fuck that...i hate it when people are bitchy at me for no reason. all i did was ask a question.

well i havent reaally written in here in a while. sooo i think i will. this past week was so tiring and nerve-racking. i dont quite know why, but it just took a lot out of me. but now its all good. wednesday went to jeepers and watched saneyda and ida dance.. haha it was the best :) then friday made two attempts to see national security and both failed. ended up in driving around for a while. chilling. it was fun. then yesterday ida came over at like 2 and didnt leave until almost 12. it was great fun. just hanging out. being dorks and being silly. haha. i always the most fun with her. its crazy. cuddling up close and falling asleep, or almost falling asleep until a big mouse makes soem noise, is soo great. its all carefree and nothing could go wrong. :) ok time to do work. maybe. or sleep some more. out.

"your drive me craaaaazy!!" someone should get that...and noo its not a tribute to britney spears

"I'll Catch You"

can you sleep as the sound hits your ears one at a time?
an unspokenbalance here,
unabridged for so many years
that i sould stare atreceivers to receive her isn't fair
don't worry i'll catch you
don't ever worry
your arms in mine, anytime
i wouldn't trade anything
you're still my everything
to my surprise, before my eyes, you arrive
i'm still breaking old hapits when you pulled the wool over me
i can see everything, remembering "jinx removing"
no need for reminding... you're still all that matters to me

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're just there for the music! You admire Avril. You don't care wether she's punk or not. You just think that her music is great.

!!! What are your true feelings towards Avril Lavigne? !!!
brought to you by Quizilla


haha yeah i spose. haha. man im a loser

Paparazzo Jr: so are you officially touring with bionic man?
tre 4222: yeah
Paparazzo Jr: sweet, you still in school?
tre 4222: yeah\
Paparazzo Jr: cool, you're my hero
Paparazzo Jr: and you are so damn smart and talented
Paparazzo Jr: that sounds pretty quere but its what everyone thinkgs
Paparazzo Jr: its not like your an over ahciever you just seem to naturally be that way

that made my fucking day. well it made it even better. i went shopping today and got more fishies and a shirt...thaaat made my day cos i got to go with someone super great :) then this. man today is going really good. today has been my week. :) :) i feel so famous and rock starish. and people like me....haha i sound so dumb. fuck it. im so fucking happy :) yay.

What Type of Romantic Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

100% Romantic- You can rock anyone's world with gifts, love, food

a day in the life of a pop-punk drummer

today was excellent. started out doing science fair...that got frustrating so i stopped after a while. then i found out that my show was cancelled cos the electric maid was condemned but will be back up in a month. that sucked cos i love playing shows. oh well. i got some new clothes and hung out with ida for a whiles. most excellent. everything got better around 7:30 or so. good times. :) tired. time for sleep. or at least soon. good night.

"1:19"

It was almost night time so we stayed inside, and closed our eyes. I whispered a thought that I had. We slept while holding hands couldn't sleep the cold. You said, "Just being near you for awhile is enough." I thought you have the most wonderful sense of feeling right, and the most wonderful sense of being here tonight.

saves the day

they have a lot of non-happy songs.....this one is good

"Third Engine"

The sky grows bigger every day
And the other week I hopped on a train
Cutting through state lines
To come to you as the crow flies
And out there in there offing everything was melon and orange
Did you know, my sweet
That I once took the liberty of watching you in your sleep?
I rolled over and over
Trying to touch your knees underneath the sheets
I just want you to know
that every pool of water reminds me of you
Is that all right?
I hope you think it's cool
'Cause sometimes a train can't go as fast as I want it to
Everything seemed a little easier
when we weren't one hundred miles apart
The person across from me
sitting in her train seat, reminded me of you
And I looked out past her cheeks
through the glass-light conduit
But the sun had sunk already
Disappeared into New Jersey
Oh, why don't they have phones on these things?

saves the day

time to update again. iuts been a while....all of 3 days...oh well haha. ive been...er busy? yeah i dont know jus too lazy. and whenevr i feel likr writing im too tired too. ohwell. today was a good day. started off alright i suppose. but theeeen oh man. well our announcements are broadcast on the tv in the school and on the PA, sooo tehy showed my music video on the announcements. maaan i felt soo great. everyone was all praising me and saying it was such a cool video. and it was going on all day. and my 4th period cheered for me when i came in. it was odd but sooo great. it just made my day. theeen i got a note from a certain sneaky someone and those are always the best. went home. fixed my bass. went to band practice. bionic man has a show tomorrow at the electric maid at like 7. we're playing like 1st or second or somethign but oh well. theeeen i went to ida's work and hung out with her for a while. then we watched signs. great movie and scary too. i like scary movies :) and it makes me so sad to see you sick. please dont be sick. i would be sick for you if i could. i really would. but in any case get well sooner then ever. im good. im tired. gotta do work tomorrow. out.

loook who's back....L7 ;)

well i told myself that i wouldnt come home and get online....i need to clean and do homework...but i also love writing...so i guess ill ramble on in here about my day and the things i think about....probably not too interesting....but meh. today was not too bad of a day....shorter classes adn very chill. got a ride home from ida (thanks bunches:) ). i gots band practice with bionic man sometime tonight. thatll be cool. we got some new songs to work out and i got some more vocals to learn. they want me to maybe sing lead on some songs. that would so so awesome except for the fact that im incredibly self concious and i dont sing well enough. oh well ill try though. itll rock either way. its so much fun just rockin out with them. best thing music-wise since time out of line....granted there havent been many of those anyway....but its jsut so awesome. i mean a band that i say liek 4 years ago, a band that i have shirts, stickers and patches of wants me to play bass for them, even though im 12 years younger than them. its so cool. and im going to fuckign chicago to play a show with them at the end of january. my dream is coming closer and closer to reality and its feeling great. everythings going so well these days. its amazing. bionic man had a show on saturday. people who came to the show complemented me a good deal and that made me feel so happy. people said i was an awesome bass player, solid, rockin. they really liked our set. and talking to the guys form the other bands, even if some were drunk haha, was cool. i felt like a rock star :) i felt famous. she was proud of me:) and man. a good time to say the least. good times. and . well the only things bad is school. its so much work and i seem to be getting lazier and lazier. i dont want to be so lazy. i really need to do work. i love to learn. and it sucks when i know more about what we're talking about in history than the teacher. the only thing that challenges me is ap chem. yeah i say i fuckign hate it but deep down i love it haha. trig is a bit of work. and english is writing and i love to write compositions and essays. yeah yeah yeah im a dork haha i know. whatever. school is meh. but life otherwise rocks more than ever. im out. gotta clean.

happy......tired...too tired to write....sleep. out. :) happy.

goood night....hope ya had fun tonight :)

Bert & Ernie's Gay Love Affair Look, everyone knows you two are lovebirds. Why not do the brave thing and admit it to the world? The times are kinder nowadays. There may be the odd ultraconservative bigwig or overprotective mom, but so what? Piss on 'em. Come on out of the closet. It's ok.


Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



haha looks like you were right...;).....except not really :p

She fixes her lips, they
Always look perfect
Never a smudged line
Never too much
I try on my blue shirt
She told me she liked it once
She wonders what I'll wear
She knows knows just what she'll wear
She always wears blue
So, sneakers or flip flops?
I'm starting to panic
(Wait, wait)
Remember, she asked you
Remember to breathe
And everything will be okay

singing along to queen

today was excellent. chilled for a while. ate popcorn chicken...it was good just not nearly as much of it as i would have expected. but good. theeeen. i played a show at eric's house up in college city. bionic man is soo much fun to play with. its just great and a "who gives a fuck we're good lets rock the fuck out" thing. much greatness. and ida came and that is always wonderful. then we left and we drove around dc and talked about all kinds of things. and made a cab driver look very intently and smile big....hehe and fun. :) so much fun on a car ride....whod have thought. rockin out to the queen. good times:) :) tomorrow....clothes

BurnInEffigy: so i guess those kids were pissed we took their chicks...so they found drew's guitar..and they were trying to fuck with it...so you got out of your bed and were all like " mother fucker....ill school your ass if you touch that gibson sg"

steve's dream....very excellent

I am 70% Emo

Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater.

Take the Emo Test at fuali.com

ugh...school today. it sucked. i was soo tired. it all went by so slow...but now it feels like it was fast. i dont know. oh well. i got to see ida today. more than jsut between 1st and second and after school so that was great as oosooal(sp?). embracing in the rain :) band practice was good. got a rackmount tuner. good shit. fun times. chill. i love my "job." it is lots of work though. so busy. but its rewarding and so much greatness :) i dont know. im really excited about playing in chicago. and things are excellently good. out. :)

hooray for ecstatic happiness....its great that its back. i had such a great time yesterday, even though it consisited of beign inside all day it was with her. it was the best i ive felt in a long time. just chill. like 9 hours...10 hours....all wonderful filled. except for my little power outage/shorting out of my christmas lights. buuut ya know. it was superb. happy. greatness. :)

shooows..........

Jan 4th and 5th....dont know exactly where yet...but im guessing at the electric maid...more to come.

go here....funny..................................................................

Which SLC Punk Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha riiight. doubt that.