Monday, December 08, 2003

yay...one comment :) i expect everyone to fill it out...well no...i hope everyone does...cos im curious..heh so if youre bored or have time...rock on

[soundtrack to the post: Bed Of Roses - Bon Jovi]
Comment with answers to these questions, then post it yourself and see the response:
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I’ll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When’s the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

Sunday, December 07, 2003

crap...stupid fucking jazz band all damn week. then concert on thursday. so no stretching for me on wednesday. i totally forgot until just now. grr
well the show was alright. i like certain parts better than others. ;) spaced out during some parts cos they really were not that good. but i shall tell you about it later after you've read this. prolly tomorrow morning. since you'll be showered and bedded most likely. heh bedded is now the verb for going to your bed/sleeping.

[soundtrack to the post: dana walker - Hopesfall]
who would've thought that scrubs would bring this on?

i want to do so many things that im too young to do. like be in a band that tours. i have "toured" kind of. three days here. over night there. i mean its fun and all. but i have too many things here at home tieing me down. school for one. friends. and music actually. no one my age is good enough to play the music i want to play, however conceited that sounds. but it takes something to make music sound good...or at least what i love to hear. time out of line was perfect. i had so much fun. that was the music i wanted to play and write. i have yet to find that anywhere else. i havent been able to achieve the same dynamic i built with those guys. when theyre all back for break we are going to have to chill. im ecstatic with these thoughts. ive missed them so. in a few years i will really start living. the way i want to. so for now, love is for suckers and i suck. i want to stay 22 forever.

[soundtrack to the post: The Science Of Selling Yourself - Less Than Jake]

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.
Born with the name of Otto, you became Ludwig at the request of your grandfather, King Ludwig I, because you were born on his birthday. You became Crown Prince at the tender age of 3, and soon after stole a purse from a shop on the basis that everything in Bavaria belonged to you. Tragedy struck when your pet tortoise was taken away; relatives thought the six-year-old prince was too attached to it. Your childhood was lonely and formal. Once, you were prevented from beheading your younger brother by the timeous arrival of a court official. From the age of 14 you suffered from hallucinations.

Despite striking an imposing figure with your great height and good looks, your speeches were pompous to the point of incomprehensibility. You became even more of a recluse, often spending hours reading poetry in a seashell-shaped boat in your electrically-illuminated underground grotto.

You are most famous for building three fairytale castles - Linderhof, Neuschwanstein and Herrenchiemsee - at tremendous public expense. Declared insane and confined to your bedroom by concerned (and embarrassed) subjects, you escaped on 13 June 1886, but were later found drowned with your physician in Lake Stamberg in mysterious circumstances.

[soundtrack to the post: I'm Not Calling You - Lifetime]
today was great!!
infatuated with you

Why do your eyes paralyze me
What makes me feel this way
Just carry me away with silence and heartbeats
As rapid thinking about your embrace
and how it makes me feel
I just want to feel this way forever
Sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you
Why have I been given the chance to fly
When I'm not with you I feel lesser alone
I remember your face imprinted on angels
Your voice as beautiful as the sounds of waves
crashing against my heart
Time slows down when you look at me
I'm infatuated with this
infatuated with you
It's so hard for me to understand why
I hadn't found you before don't dull away
hold my hand

[soundtrack to the post: Nerdy - Poison The Well]

Saturday, December 06, 2003

we're so sneaky and they never knew

whats it been now...12 days? definitely doesnt feel like 12 days at all...to me at least. it feels like a month or so. probably because of the feelings and the length that they were mutually expressed. subterfuge...mm.. hehe. either way im happy as can be. and now im off to play pool with danny. i was bored. but now i am out! woo...if youd like to join dont hesitate to give me a ring.. all lines(being one) are open 24/7

so im lazy and never update...what are you gonna do about it? : P well last night was the darkest hour and every other great band show. it was fucking killer. great music. suck ass people as usual. fucking roosevelt bitches. well my friends from roosevelt were there and you know who you are. but the other kids are dicks. hardcore is a fucking style now. all about the clothes and look. but despite that the show was good. packed as hell. got a darkest hour shirt. so today i gotta do some work. get my school work out of the way. gotta keep my rank. luandry needs doing. maybe ill make a to-do list. that would really help me out with actually getting shit done because otherwise i will just think about everything and never do it. thinking too much is dangerous. then again so is walking around with a tommy gun shooting nazis....oh wait thats just fun...good old "Allied Assault." i may play that a bunch today. i never did get to beat the game. that damn tank level. heh no one knows what im talking about. meh. last night was awesome. snuggly. mimi, you are lucky. he seems nice :) so getting 7 hours of sleep, probably less since i didnt sleep well doesnt seem to be bothering me. it should i raelly need more sleep. i can never stay in stage 4 long enough to feel rested enough. but today is different. hm. i want to do something today. later on when everyone can chill. what to do i have no idea. but something indeed. so now i guess ill shower. what fun. i need to be clean. show=sweaty and bruised.

[soundtrack to the post: marching to the killing rhythm - Darkest Hour]

Thursday, December 04, 2003


think. less emotion. you'll live longer

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

well here's an update...napped...that was nice...writing music as we speak..or as i type...or i guess not even that since i cant play and type at the same time...heh. well when im not typing im playing..its a good song..should be up soon. :)

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

so i think im too damn independent for my own good...i may be the only person ever to refuse money from my parents for food or anything. i mean hey thats why i have a job....so i can pay for my own necessities and such. thats also why i dislike getting rides from people usually. i like to do things on my own and never like to feel like im burdening anyone or putting them through any trouble. so i walk everywhere. i really dont mind. i dont like depending on anyone, unless im really close to them and trust them quite a bit. i guess if im offered something and i really need it, then maybe after some convincing i will accept. but eh. my mom pisses me off. not everything is about sex leave it the fuck alone!! aaah...im not some damned constantly horny teenager...despite popular opinion, its just an act...it gets laughs so why not, right?...but god dont fucking put me in every stereotype you can think of! dont get on me for a fuckin B! dont bullshit me about an 1130! i do what i can do! you want better find a new fucking son. find one youre happy with. maybe then you'll be proud. fuckers.

[soundtrack to the post: The After Dinner Payback - From Autumn To Ashes]
"...that was the first thing I had to learn about her, and maybe the hardest I've ever learned about anything--that she is her own, and what she gives me is of her choosing, and the more precious because of it. Sometimes a butterfly will come to sit in your open palm, but if you close your hand, one way or the other, it--and its choice to be there--are gone."

i really like that quote
"ok, think of what little patience i have as, oh, i dont know, your virginity. you always thought it would be there until that night junior year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well he dropped by and he brought a copy of "about last night" and a four-pack of bartles and james, and badow! woohoohooo it was gone forever, just like my patience is now." - Dr. Cox
you are powderblue
#B0E0E6

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
the spacefem.com html color quiz


Water
You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, December 01, 2003

i remember days of watching you stand there like a statue in the cold
you were with him but you looked so alone and your heart was never there
i remember all the times i wished i could be there
and you can be sure i wouldve held you close
you can be sure you would know i cared

there were so many times our hands brushed so lightly
i counted all the times our knees touched
and each time we never moved them away
each time i left i wanted to hear you say..

please stay the night
please hold me tight and sing me to sleep
kiss me and love me
youre all i ever wanted

i wished for so long you would notice me
i wanted to say so many things
how he never deserved your beauty
how much it meant that you sat next to me

i remember yesterday when you kissed me good night
i love the feeling i get when your eyes meet mine
day in and day out ill be by your side
day in and day out ill do whatever you need
if it went the way i wanted, youd be here right by my side
i just want to make the world the most beautiful place for the most beautiful girl
we'll walk to the park tonight and the sound of your voice is the best song ive ever heard
just right a killer ass song about a totally awesome girl...day in and day out
ah..enetation is just weird...go here, log in, go to settings, and click submit..it all just needs to be "restarted." your blogger comments should start showing up.

[soundtrack to the post: The Second Wrong Makes You Fee - From Autumn To Ashes]