mm metal...

[soundtrack to the post: The Entire World Is Counting On Me, And They Don't Even Know It - Norma Jean]

ugh. no one's online. bed.

[soundtrack to the post: Constellation - Juliana Theory]

more *sigh*... it must be done. its not a whole lot of fun to play. and sounds kinda bleh. piezo pickups arent that great on electrics. but goddamn it isa gorgeous bass. soo beautiful. quilt maple top,
dual humbuckers, abalone block inlays. it was my perfect bass...just it fell short...why couldnt it just play beautifully too?? guuuh. ill just use the $1200 for something else thats more worthwhile..like adding some more money to the upright purchase that my parents cant fully afford...or the 6-string i wanted and know plays and sounds good having tried one already..or buying new pickups for my current bass...which could use some hum-cancelling. good ol stacked pickups being wired in reverse so that all hum is eliminated. bleh. its a sad day. very sad.

[soundtrack to the post: Red Top - Eva Cassidy]

*sigh* time to return my bass. it just doesnt play, sound, or feel good. so i might as well get my money back.

[soundtrack to the post: Open Letter to Duke - Charles Mingus]

got into maryland and got into drexel. now to wait to hear from catholic to see if i got in, cos i will probably be going there. good day. first bass lesson today too. so that went well. will be getting upright this weekend hopefully. i wanted the advice of my teacher and since my lesson on friday was cancelled, i had to wait to get the bass. soon though...soon.

less than jake medly
Welcome home outcasts
Because I know how you have
Felt over the years
The truth is that
Looking at me is like
Looking in the mirror
And I know how it feels
To be the best part
Of a running joke
To all of your friends

And to be on the edge of your bed
With your head buried in your hands
Wishing that everything would end
I know how it feels to be the loneliest

Welcome back outcasts
Because I've told myself
That it would be alright
Probably about a million times
Over every minute of all of my life
I know how it feels
To be so confused
That you're so far out of control

And to be on the edge of your bed
With your head buried in your hands
Wishing that everything would end
I know how it feels to be the loneliest

So you sit and wait for a sign
That the coming days will be alright
And you drink
So you can forget another night
Bruised from the blackouts
And your blood red eyes
Try to start looking
For the brighter side
Wait for a sign
Welcome home
Everything will be alright

And I know how it feels
To be the best part
Of a running joke all of your life

I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,

I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,
I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"

[soundtrack to the post: Ghosts Of You And Me - Less Than Jake]

I'm so over-dosed on apathy and burnt out on sympathy.

Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day,
Self deprication seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway

what a fucking bitch...didnt get in. got money though.

[soundtrack to the post: Elephant Man - Mastodon]

bleh...i kinda feel aimless and a bit unsure...so im going to stop this whole everything as sex thing. i dont like being so predictable. and apparently people say that im not to be believed. which is very disconcerting. so ill probably just stop talking unless i know what im talking about. i dont like being called an idiot, or dumb, or stupid, or just "oh thats trevor for you." for some reason i really dont like that. so, no more of that from me. we'll see what happens.
i wish i knew about scholarships and college acceptance. everyone else seems to be finding out except for me. i could really use the money...thought i probably wont win. bleh.
so im going to audition for the navy band. maybe ill get into that. and thatd be my job. playing music as my duty. i could be stationed in anacostia, go to school at UMD and the navy would pay for it, provided i get in. then i get $15,000/yr though if i do it, i have to stay for four years. which would be interesting, i dont know if i would want to do that for four years. though i could get training for nuclear engineering and start out at $60,000/yr after 2 yrs of training that the navy pays for...aaah too many options. life needs to be a little less complicated.

[soundtrack to the post: Televators - The Mars Volta]

new pics to come soon...if someone wants to come over so i can use their digital camera :)

from window there is a view of the same things i see everyday. but there's a certain pleasant quality to seeing the same things everyday. hearing the birds sing, feeling the brisk morning air on your face. there's something invigorating about life. seeing the dead trees adn the partially cloudy skiy, hell i sound like a weather forecaster. i see the shadows of trees cast by the early morning sun. it is good to ponder things, though not too much, as that will lead to overanalyzation and distress. i prefer to keep my mind moving. i dont want to think about my inferiority complex, or the mental block, or mindset, or my odd refusal to be proud that i am a good musician. hm life is intriguing. im back to bed.

Feb 16, 2004 1:43 A.M. HODGKINS, IL, US ARRIVAL SCAN

You Are - The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows


What Brand New song are you? (Deja Entendu)
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Icon is..... by d3athofs3asons
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Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

so i have come to realize that i really like hyattsville...and walking home from school in cool weather. it makes my mind feel so good. i can wonder and think and its so nice. i like stuff...out.

good old applying for an assload of scholarships..i really hope i get some more money...and get into UMD music school...everyone says ill get in and is so sure of it. i guess i think i could, i just dont want to get my hopes up and then have them dashed to bits. sigh. i guess ill find out soon enough....my bass shguold be dooooone tomoroooow...i cant wait. soon it will be miiiiine. mwahahah....ok dinner and bio...out.

[soundtrack to the post: Bird Calls - Charles Mingus]

make money money make money money monEY!

ok so ive been busy...now i am to sleep..cos im tired, so there. i got a letter from a scholarship place today and got news that i was awarded $1000. that was very nice. and im in the running for more too. so we'll see how that goes. bass will be completed thursday (essentially tomorrow since its late tonight right now) i cant waaaaait. i seriously am not going to school the day it is supposed to arrive. i have to be here when it gets here, 1. so it doesnt get left and stolen 2. if im not here they'll take it to laurel or upper marlboro...too far to drive when my family has no time to do that. sooooo. yeah. and i can play it all day. so it will be hott!! ok bed

[soundtrack to the post: Fables of Faubus - Charles Mingus]

Ezekial 25:17
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepers the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

*gunshot*
-What the fucks happening?!!? awww shit
-aww man, I shot marvin in the face...
-why the fuck you do that?!?
-well I aint mean to it was an accident!
-aww man I seen some crazy ass shit in my time but this...
-chill out man I told you it was an accident! you prolly went over a bump or somethin..
-the car aint hit no motherfuckin bump!

Elvin Ham (( GROW THE HUGE COCK OF YOUR WIFES DREAMS )) Mon 02/02


some people have no lives

[soundtrack to the post: Just Let Me Breathe - Dream Theater]

ok kate, and everyone who is bitching at me cos im a lazy bitch and never update. here's whats going on. school. practicing bass 4-7 hours a day. my new bass is coming soon. the next week or so. i auditioned for UMD school of music on saturday. hopefully that will tunr out well. 1230 on SAT. all college apps in. i played jazz with my dad tonight. that was awesome. his PhD in musicology helps me learn music theory very well...and for free too. its building my jazz chops. now im drinking warm ginger ale (like the saves teh day song) and eating combos. so rocking. listening to...well its at the bottom...oh yeah eating LWDs too (little white doughnuts). life is pretty much good as of now. pretty darn content. aand im taking my driver's test on the 18th. so thatll be fuckin awesome.
rock. music is my life. i like it. lots..now i sleep. cos i gotta get up ass early tomorrow for computer club (yeeeah im a geek). out. hope you enjoyed my little update.

[soundtrack to the post: Goliaths Disarm Their Davids - In Flames]

I am 77% Metal Head

I was born with the mark of the beast on my forehead and an axe in my arms. I am the god of all things metal! Now if only I could get my parents to give me back my car keys.....

Take the Metal Head Test at fuali.com

I am 45% Goth

Goth ny night, normal by day. Deep in my heart I know I am evil, but not on the company's time. I do need to eat.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

I am 88% Emo

Holy gee whilikers... I am as emo as it gets... I will try to cheer the heck up and stop wiping my nose on my sweater...

Take the Emo Test at fuali.com

I am 62% Geek

Nerd, Freak, Geek, Dweeb. Sound familiar? That's okay, cause I will be the richest person at my 15th year high school reunion. If a "con" isn't happening that weekend.

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com

I am 67% Punk Rock

The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. I may be able to maintain a train of thought long enough... What the fuck was I talking about?

Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com

I am 64% Tortured Artist

Art is significant in my life, people are scum but I have the capicity to deal with it. Give it a few more years and I will either forget about art or hate the world.

Take the Tortured Artist Test at fuali.com

[soundtrack to the post: Goliaths Disarm Their Davids - In Flames]